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The worst things to write on your Muslim Dating Profile

Thursday, March 1st, 2018


As a Dating Coach, it concerns me every time I see someone writing a negative online dating profile.

It’s a terrible thing to do but still surprisingly common, despite our best efforts to teach people they shouldn’t be doing it!

So what exactly is a “negative” profile and what’s so bad about it?

A negative dating profile is one that talks about all the things you don’t want.  Typical comments might be things like:

“I can’t believe I’m doing this”

“No timewasters please”

“Only contact me if you have a photo”

“Don’t bother to contact me if you aren’t serious”

“I don’t know what to write here”

“If you aren’t in the UK don’t bother”

Believe it or not, these type of statements appear in an awful lot of profiles.  The problem is that they make you sound really miserable, jaded and unlikely to be fun on a date. Nobody likes a negative nancy so you should avoid these at all costs.  If people think you are like that then they won’t be drawn to you and won’t want to spend time with you.

It’s much better to focus on positive things and talk about the lovely things you have to offer.  It’s not just about what you are looking for, but what the other person wants too. It’s a two way street and you have to remember that.  Otherwise it can come across as demanding or downright rude.  I’m sure you don’t want anyone to think that of you!

Try and write things like this instead:

“I’m excited to see what might happen on this site”

“I’d love you to contact me if you like what you’ve read”

“If you are also looking for a serious relationship then it would be great to hear from you”

“Helping others and Keeping Fit are two of the things that make me happy”

If you’ve written anything negative in your profile then I strongly suggest you take this out and write something more lighthearted and friendly instead.  You’ll have a much better success rate and many more replies to your messages.

Happy Dating!

James Preece

Dating Coach for Muslim Single Solution.

Our Dating Coach Shares his Muslim Dating Tips

Wednesday, September 7th, 2016

Our resident Dating Coach James Preece was recently interviewed about Muslim Dating for the leading Muslim news site MySalaam.

He was asked about online dating and to give his advice on how Muslims might be able to meet a partner using sites like

You can find out more HERE:


Have a great day,

The Online Dating Questions you should never ask

Wednesday, August 24th, 2016


So…what’s holding you back?

Tuesday, August 16th, 2016


If you are finding the dating game tricky, then you might naturally be getting a bit frustrated.

I know that everyone has different issues and finding a life partner can take time.  What’s important is that you don’t ever feel stuck.  You have to be able to keep moving forward so you ultimately end up with what you want.  So we are here to help you on your journey and you don’t have to do it all on your own!

What I’d love you to do it tell me exactly what problem you are having right now.

Perhaps you aren’t sure what to write in your profile or how to get replies.  Or maybe you are getting lots of interest but it fizzles out.  Whatever it might be it usually something that can be resolved quickly.

I’ve been a Dating Coach for over a decade and I’ve helped bring 10000s of couples together. I’m an authority in the dating world and highly respected.

I’ll do my best to answer each and every issue, with my dating expert advice to help you make dramatic improvements.

You can either reach me at [email protected] or you can add an (anonymous if you prefer) comment to this blog.

Don’t wait any longer – take action now and you might just get back on track with your dating!

Top Ten Great Summer Dating Ideas

Monday, August 1st, 2016

Summer can be a bummer. The heat can often be a damper on plans you might want to have. Whether it’s going out and meeting new people or taking that special someone out for a nice night. But there are many great summer date ideas. The best part is, they are all inexpensive and a lot of fun – for any aged couple!

1. Campfires – While not everyone is allowed to have a camp fire in their backyard, sometimes exceptions can be made. Or, you can always plan a nice weekend in the woods. Camping is a great way to spend quality time with someone. If you’ve just started dating someone new, you’re not going to want to invite them into the woods. So, you’re better off to try the back yard campfire idea. Or, skip it all. Buy a false fireplace from a department store or watch a fireplace video on Youtube. Break out your guitar and sing like you’re out in the woods. It’s the idea that counts, not the location.

2. Picnic – Another fun summer date idea is to have a picnic. You can go all out and pack you and your date nice meals. You can pick out a spot and bring a blanket and make it really romantic. Or, you can simply pick up ready made sandwiches and head down to the park. This will make it feel more spontaneous and less like a romantic gesture. While you’re enjoying your meal as well as the outdoors, it gives you a great opportunity to get to know each other.

3. Wheeling – You may be great at balancing or awful, but try roller skating or roller blading. It’s a great way to stay fit, as well as a fun experience you can share with your date. If you fall down, don’t worry and just laugh about it. Not everyone is great at the activity, but it can be all kinds of fun. Especially if you’re both attempting to do it after a long period of not being on skates. Ice skating is a great idea for this too, but that depends if your city has an indoor rink or not.

4. Biking – Not only is biking a more eco-friendly way to travel, but it can also be more fun. A couples bike might be the more fun option, since it allows more opportunity to chat. But if you don’t have one and can’t rent one, go for separate bikes. The air passing by you will certainly be a great way to cool down. Pick a cute cafe or something to go to after.

5. Cafes – It doesn’t matter what time of year it is, heading to a cute little cafe is always a fun date idea. You can take your coffee to go and enjoy a nice stroll getting to chat with your date. Or, if the weather is too unbearable, just stay in and enjoy your coffee there. Most places do have air conditioning. You can get a warm drink or a cool drink. You could even have a snack. It’s a great way to be able to talk, without sitting in the house and sweating.

6. Sight Seeing – Even fi you’re both local to the area, it can be really fun to pretend you’re tourists who are visiting for the first time. Go see every local landmark. Go to amusement parks or museums that are well known in your town. If you’re into it, you could even pretend to be the tour guide and act like you’re taking your date on a private tour. Share information about local history and culture like your date has never heard it. Have fun with it and each other.

7. Swimming – Well, we are talking about summer ideas, and swimming definitely makes that list. You might not feel comfortable being in a swim suit around a new date and it could be the same for your date. This is a great time to suggest swimming while fully clothed. It’s silly, spontaneous, but mostly a fun gesture. Yes, your clothes will be wet, but, that will actually keep you cooler once you’re back out of the water. It can be a pool, a lake, anywhere. All that matters is that you’re having a good.

8. Shopping – This might not seem like a great date idea, but it can be a lot of fun. You don’t have to go to a mall, either. Instead, try going out to yard sales with your date. This might be a fun way to get to know more about your date. You’ll see what they consider “a find” or how they interact when finding a great item. Either of you may also come across something with a sentimental link to the past. You could even end up sharing stories or just laughing at other peoples’ junk.

9. Movies – This is a pretty standard suggestion for any sort of date night. But, to get in on the same page at the other summer date ideas, try outdoor movies. If your city doesn’t have an outdoor movie theater, consider renting a projector. You can set up your own out door movie using the wall of your house as the screen. This can be really fun when you take your lawn chairs out in the yard to enjoy the picture. Your date will likely enjoy your creative thinking.

10. Cooking – This may feel like a bad idea when you first consider it. The heat is bad and the last thing you want to do it stand in the kitchen and sweat. The brighter side is sweating will actually cool you down and prolonged exposure to the heat will actually adjust your body temperature. Alright, science aside, it’s fun to cook with a date or for a date. You get to show off all those skills you’ve learned about food. If you don’t know any, maybe take a cooking class together. That’s a little more fun for the ladies than the men, but, everyone benefits from good tasting food.

There are many different ways you can still enjoy dating in the summer – you just have to be creative!


Happy dating,

James Preece

The 5 Big Muslim Online Dating Mistakes

Wednesday, July 13th, 2016


The words you should never write in your Muslim Dating Profile

Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

When you are writing your online dating profile you have want to express yourself in the best possible way.

Oh dear

Oh dear

You should be aiming to sell yourself and make dating you sound like an unmissable opportunity. Use every section to entice the reader and don’t leave them guessing.

This might sound obvious, but each week I see many people who just don’t know what to write.  So they end up writing filler text like this:


“I dont really know what else to say but if you would like to know anything else just ask”


“You’ll have to ask to find out….blah blah blah blah blah”


“Just ask if you would like to find out more about me”

“I never know what to write in these boxes! Just ask and i shall reveal all!”

” much prefer getting to know someone than spill all on here – whats the fun in that?”

“More information on request..”

“I don’t want to reveal all”

“Let’s keep some mystery”


If you were applying for a job you wouldn’t dream of putting anything like that on your cover letter.  So why would your dating profile – your biggest chance to get a partner – be any different?  A little effort really can go a long way and you’ll be able to blast away your competition.

Happy dating !

James Preece

Dating Coach advice: Do women hate bald men?

Monday, June 1st, 2015

Here is an interesting dating problem solved by our resident Dating Coach


“Dear James,  please can you help me?   I’m 33 and my hair is receding quite badly.  My friends and family tell me I’m very good looking but it’s really knocking my confidence for six.  Do women hate bald men?  Is the fact I’m an Asian Muslim putting other non Asian Muslim women off?  I’d love to hear what you think. I’m pretty unhappy at the moment. A”


Hi A,

Thanks for the message.  I know it must be hard for you to write to me, but it’s great that you did.

Anyway, I want to start by putting your mind at rest. Many women find bald men attractive. It’s a sign of being “manly” and mature. Just look at Jason Statham, The Rock, Vin Diesel, Bruce Willis and the men like them. It’s not just about muscles, but personality.

However, don’t try and hide it as that can age you and make you look much older than 19. It’s much better to completely shave it off. If you shave it then you’ll look tidier, sleekier and sexier.

Stop worrying and listen to your friends. If you they say you are good looking then that’s wonderful as it gives the advantage over other men.

As for being Asian, well that depends on personal choice of different women. Yes, some non Asian  Muslim women will prefer non Asian Muslim men…BUT…everyone likes different things. That’s why there’s so many flavours of ice cream available!

The secret is to try to be as positive and confident as possible. These two qualities are much more attractive than ethnicity, hair style, height or anything else. If you look a person that’s worth getting to know then women will naturally want to be with you. It’s really that simply.

There’s isn’t a lot you can do about your hair anyway, so put that thought out of your mind.  Spend your time and energy going out an actively meeting women.  Assume they are all interested rather than looking to reject you and you’ll already be on the right path.

Hope that helps and I wish you good luck!


The Dating Guru

P.S  I’d

If you have your own question or dating problem that you’d like to ask our Dating Coach, drop us an email to [email protected]     He’ll answer the best ones ( anonymously) here in the blog

How to make time for yourself

Tuesday, April 7th, 2015

How often do you do the things that you really want to do?

The ocean stirsthe heart, inspiresthe

Many people spend their lives doing things for other people. That can include going to work, looking after family members or just trying to make people happy.  This can lead to long term unhappiness and even stress.

It’s vital that you spend a little time each week just doing the things YOU enjoy.  For some this means going for a walk in the sun or to others if might mean watching a good film.  Whatever it is, do it on your own and spend some time just enjoying your own company. Once you do that then you will much more relaxed and therefore more productive when it comes to attending to other matters.

Remember, the most important person in your life is YOU.  If you are unwell, tired, or stressed then you are in no position to help anyone else anyway.  You need to be as healthy and happy as you can possibly can.

Doing the little things are great but you need a longer plan too. Make a list of all the things you want to do in the next year.  Are there any exciting places that you would love to visit?   What would you do if money were no object and you had all the time in the world?  Are you doing the activities you really want to do or have you been neglecting them.

The more simple your life is then the more time you will have. Things don’t need to be perfect or event done right away.  If it’s not urgent then consider if you really need to do it today or if it can wait.

Once you realise how short life is, then you’ll know you only have a limited time to experience it.  So please make sure the experiences are good ones that you will remember!

Happy dating!


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Dating Guru’s Mailbag: What do I wear at a Muslim dating event?

Monday, November 24th, 2014

Here is the latest question answered by our Dating Guru


“Dear James.  I’ve heard about the fantastic muslim speed dating events that you run.  I want to come but I’m very nervous.  I don’t have a clue what I should be wearing either.  Do I need to wear a suit?  Please can you help me out and give me some tips?  Sam”

Hi Sam,

Thank you for your message. Firstly, don’t worry about being a bit nervous as everyone is the first time. It’s only natural!  That’s why we employ friendly, down to earth hosts that you can talk to if you need any help.  Speed dating is a great way to meet lots of lovely singles, but you only get one chance to make a first impression. So you absolutely have to make sure you dress up and look your best.

I’ve seen plenty of guys turn up wearing tracksuits, t-shirts and trainers and have even had to refuse entry to some of them.  Yet strangely I’ve never seen a badly dressed woman.  Clothing is so important as it conveys everything they need to know about you and your personality.  If you can’t be bothered to make an effort with your clothes, then chances are that you can’t be bothered to make make an effort with a partner either.

If you aren’t sure what women want you to wear, then go clothes shopping with a female friend. They can advise you of what is fashionable and what looks good on you.  It doesn’t need to be expensive but a little investment in your wardrobe is a very wise one indeed.  It’s find if you don’t normally dress up but you need to stand out from your competition at the events by looking like something worth getting to know.

As a general rule, a smart suit and shirt with clean polished shoes is always your best bet.  If you don’t normally wear one then take one to work.  Jeans are fine if paired with a nice jacket and shirt, but never with trainers.

Good luck!

James Preece

The Dating Guru

How to keep up a conversation

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

Do you run out of things to say

when you are talking to someone?

Being able to talk is an important part of successful speed dating and dating in general.   If you can’t keep the momentum going then you won’t get a second chance. So here are my top tips to help you keep things going and make sure they never think you are boring.

1) Talk about your surroundings.  This is the one thing you both have in common.  If you are speed dating, you can find out if it’s their first time or ask if they are enjoying their coffee.

2) Be topical.   Read the day’s newspaper to find out what’s going on in the world. You will then have a wider range of talking points. Keep it to light topics such as celebrity gossip and avoid politics.

3) Ask questions.   Make sure these aren’t questions that could be answered by a quick yes or no.  The idea is to get them thinking, so ask them something that they have to answer in detail.  So rather than ask if they have any brothers and sisters,  ask them to tell you about their childhood memories.

4) Don’t be serious.   Using humour can really help to break the ice.   A little gentle teasing should normally go down well, but never be rude or sarcastic.  You don’t need to learn lots of comedy routines or jokes, but use observational comments to get a bit of banter between you.

5) Don’t be afraid of a little silence.    You don’t need to constantly bombard each other with questions – it’s not an interrogation.   Use little silences  as quick breaks to catch your breath and think about what to say next.  Embrace them as they are perfectly natural.  Sip your drink if you really need something to do in between.


Good luck!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

Dating Guru’s Mailbag: Why the delays?

Monday, September 29th, 2014

Here is a problem that is solved by our resident dating expert, James Preece


“Dear James,

I’ve recently been talking to someone on the site and things were going well.  We were speaking lots and building things up nicely.  The trouble is that sometimes he can go days without replying to me, leave me hanging around waiting for him. Is he interested or just playing games with me? Help please!   D”

Hi D,

Thank you for your message.  I do understand how frustrating this can be to have to wait for someone to get back to you.

Please remember that some people do have busy lives and aren’t always able to check emails.  I’m used to checking mine quite a lot and they come through on my phone, but that’s not the norm. I get impatient if someone keeps me waiting but it’s not always because they aren’t interested, just that they have other things going on.  We can’t possibly know or predict what’s going on unless we ask them.

Having said that, it does sound like he could be stringing you along.  Perhaps he’s already talking to other people and comes back to you when those conversations dry up.  The bigger question is why haven’t you both arranged to meet face to face yet?  Online dating is a brilliant way to get to know someone, but it’s not a replacement for the real world.  It’s too easy to have a “virtual” relationship rather than a real one if you both put up with this.

So, next time he gets in touch, call him out once and for all.  Ask him if he’d like to meet up and then get him to arrange something, or speak on the phone at the very least. If he doesn’t react positively then at least you have your answer.

One final tip:  Don’t rely on just talking to one person.  You should keep being proactive and contact lots of other suitable people.  That way you aren’t pinning your hopes on one unreliable single and spending too long waiting around for them.  Keep busy lining up more dates and if Mr Slow does get in touch you won’t care so much.

If you have your own problem or question, please send it to our Dating Guru at [email protected]

The best ones will be answered right here in the blog.  James is a very experienced dating coach and his advice is invaluable.


Happy dating!


The Muslim Single Solution.

Muslim Speed Dating in a Nutshell

Friday, September 5th, 2014

Muslim Speed Dating is a fantastic way to meet other like minded Muslim Singles. 

It’s a fast, fun process so here are the absolute essentials that you need to know.  Three minutes reading this could make the three minutes you spend Muslim Speed Dating work wonders!

What to wear

Leave the jeans and trainers are home. You absolutely have to make an effort or nobody will remember you. Wear something smart that you feel good  in.  Remember that a nice smell is just as important too.

What you need to know

You only get a short period of time for your first impression, so you need to make a it count.     Start by smiling, shaking hands and exchanging names.    Your job is to make the two minutes the best two minutes of the evening and to leave them begging to see you again.  You can do this by making them laugh, feel special and boosting their mood.

 Pay them a compliment

Just not about how their looks.  Instead, tell them you love something they are wearing or tell them you could see their smile from the other side of the room.  They’ll remember this long after the evening.

What to say

Ask them how they are finding the event or make a joke.   Avoid dull questions like asking them where they work as everyone will ask that.   Don’t ask questions that can be answered with a yes or no.  Instead,  ask what they are passionate about and you’ll watch them open up much more. People like people who are interested in them, so ask lots of questions.  Make them feel they are the most important person in the room by smiling, nodding and maintaining eye contact.

How to Finish

End by telling them you really enjoyed talking to them and would love to see them again.  What could you do to make that happen?
Anything else?

If you get on well, there is no need to wait for a proper date.  Instead, speak to them a little later in the evening and suggest you go somewhere more private.  By going nearby to another cafe so you can get to know each other properly – away from your competition!


Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Dating Guru’s Mailbag: Are any men interested in me?

Thursday, May 29th, 2014

Here is the latest question sent it for our Dating Guru

Asian Fashion Man

“Dear James, I would like to know what sort of men I can expect to date. I have pursued a career in the wrong area and am now going back to university at the age of 31 and living with my parents I want to know if there are Muslim guys out there that are interested in women like me. R”

Hi R,

Thank you for your question.

Of course there are lots of men who would want to date you!  I read today that a quarter of all 34 year old men are still at home with their parents.
 There’s nothing wrong with that OR with wanting to improve yourself and your life.  The question is…what steps are you taking to meet decent men?  I’d suggest that you put a plan together to start getting yourself out there and interacting with them.   Stop thinking of reasons why they won’t be interested and work out exactly why they might be.  If you don’t think you are worthy then how can you expect them to?
I’d suggest that you start with some online dating and then try one of our Muslim introduction events. When you come, don’t talk about the negatives but focus on your positive traits instead.
I will you lot of luck and happiness.

James Preece – the Dating Guru

If you have your own question, our Dating Guru could help you.  He’ll answer the best or most pressing questions anonymously here in the blog.

Email him at    [email protected]


Happy dating!

The Muslim Single Solution

Muslim Dating: Should I photoshop my profile photo?

Monday, April 14th, 2014

We all know how important a good photo is to having online dating success.


If your main photo isn’t up to scratch then you won’t find too many people are interested in wanting to get to know you  better.  So the more your photo stands out then the more chance you’ll meet some amazing singles.

I was recently asked if it was OK to use photoshop ( or a similar photo editing software) to enhance your photo.   I originally thought that it’s never acceptable as all you are doing is presenting a false version of yourself.  If you start the relationship on a lie then this will only ever lead to disappointment.  However, after I gave it some serious thought I realised it’s not quite as cut and dried as that.  It all depends on what exactly you are doing with the software.

NO –  You should never make dramatic chances such as trying to make yourself look better, thinner or younger.  I’d also stay away from those washed out professional makeover type images where they but Vaseline on the lens.   These just look fake.

YES –  It’s fine to make a small change.  Perhaps you want to edit someone else out of the photo or sharpen a blurry shot.  A background tint can also work wonders and make you look healthier.

A great tool you can use to make your photo look a lot better is INSTAGRAM.    This is a free app that you can download to your phone.  You don’t actually change anything more than the tone of the photos, but there are some interesting options you can choose.  Have a play and see what you can do with it.

Our  website has a great cropping too built in.  You can resize or rotate your photo while you upload it.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru


Dating Guru’s Mailbag: How can I succeed at Muslim Speed Dating?

Monday, March 17th, 2014

Here is the latest dating problem

answered by our dating expert

“Dear James.  I’ve booked up to attend one of your Muslim speed dating events.  However, I’m a little nervous about what to say and do.  Can you give me any tips or advice please?   I want to win over the ladies!  Best Wishes,  H”

Hi H,

Thank you very much for your email.  I’m pleased you are giving it a go as it can be a fun way to meet lots of single Muslims quickly.

Here are my top tips to help you get success.

1) Dress well and shave – that goes without saying as you need to make a great impression.

2) Try and stand out from all the other guys.  They’ll be asking the same boring questions ( What’s your job, where do you live etc) so think creatively and ask
interesting questions
3) The key to success is a little cheeky charm.  Be amusing, flirty and show you are a fun guy to be with.
4) Introduce yourself with a smile and repeat their name a few times during the conversation.  They will connect more with you if you do that.
5) Listen intently and make them think they are the most important person in the room.  You need to find a mutual interest and get them excited to discuss their passion.
6) You don’t need to wait for a match.  Find her again at the end of the session, buy her a drink and carry on getting to know each other.  Even better – take her to another
bar away from the competition.
I hope that helps and good luck!
If you have your own dating problem that you need an answer too, please email  [email protected]     The best ones will be answered here ( anonymously) by our very own Dating Guru James Preece

Making time for dating

Saturday, March 8th, 2014

Do you struggle to find time for dating ?


This tip can help you.

People often tell me that they find it hard to make time for online  dating in their busy lives.  They work all day and are too tired in the evenings to do anything proactive.

I agree that online dating can often be time consuming.  It takes a while to search for people you like the look of, compose witty messages and keep the banter going.  Not every one will reply to you and it can sometimes seem frustrating.

But really it doesn’t have to be.   The object of the game is to get their attention quickly and then arrange a meeting while the interest is there.  You don’t have to write long essays back and forth for weeks.  The first message only needs to be a few lines long – just enough to get them intrigued. After a couple of replies, speak on the phone for ten minutes and then arrange your first date.  Endless messages only build up unrealistic expectations and prevent you from ever meeting up.

Here’s a quick tip which will help you find time for dating….turn off your television!  It’s the biggest time waster there is and it’ s main function is a “partner replacement.”   Most people spend all their time either  staring at it or looking forward to seeing it again.

Believe it or not, studies have shown that watching too much television can actually triple your urge for material things.  Just think how many adverts you watch, consciously and unconsciously. On top of this, every hour you watch a day makes you 5% unhappier!

You only need to spend about 20 minutes a day to make online dating work.   If you knew it would guarantee some fantastic dates, would you be able to find time to do it then?   Picture the end result before you start and you’ll soon be able to fit it into your busy lifestyle.

Most of us have at least a spare hour at the weekend, so why not use this time?

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to make people listen

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

Do you know what the most powerful

dating skill you have is?


The most attractive tool you have available is your voice.  If you speak well, in a well modulated and interesting way then people will this.

So this is obviously one of the most important things you can work on if you wish to improve your dating success.  It’s especially useful during a Muslim speed dating event as you will want to make sure that the other person is listening carefully.  Here are my top  tips to making your sure they pay attention:

1) Keep Eye Contact.    This shows confidence and the person you are talking to will find it hard to look away.  The more eye contact you use then the more compelling you will sound. Just remember to smile too and look away every now and again.

2) Lean in and speak quieter.    You should try and decrease the amount of space between you, making things a little more intimate.  This will increase your rapport and allow you speak a little quieter – forcing them to listen.

3) Record yourself.  Most modern mobile phones have a “recording” function nowadays.  The only way you can really hear what you sound like is to record something and then play it back.   Try reading a poem or song lyrics out loud.  If you don’t like what you hear then practice it again until you are more comfortable.  Remember, if you don’t like your voice then how can you expect someone else to?

4) Speak passionately.  Always make sure that you have plenty to talk about.  If you don’t then both your minds will wander and you’ll be bored. So talk about whatever it is your are passionate about.  You’ll find you smile more and your eyes light up when you discuss something that you like.

5) Listen.  Ask lots of questions and look like you are fascinated by their answers .   This will set the example and show them how they ought to be responding when you speak.

James Preece – The Dating Guru


Creating your Relationship Wish List

Monday, September 30th, 2013

Before you start a new relationship

You must be clear about what you want


Do you know what you are looking for in a new partner?  Or do you just see who happens to turn up and hope for the best like so many people do?

If you aren’t sure about what you want then you will never know when you meet them.  So to boost your chances I strongly suggest you make yourself a relationship wish list.

This is a bit like a shopping list, where you write down the things you would like from a partner.   Don’t turn it into a long list of things you have little hope of every achieving or you will make things impossible for yourself.  Instead, use it to note down the dealbreakers and the most important things you will need.

To help you along, consider these dating questions:

1)  What sort of age difference would work best?

2) What type of person do you hope to meet?  Try and describe them.

3) Is distance a problem or would you be OK travelling to see each other?

4)  Do you want to get married at some point?

5)  Does it matter if they earn a lot more money that you?

6)  Is being fit and active important?

7)  How much space to you need from a partner?  Would you rather be together all the time or have long periods apart.

8) Do you want to have children?

9) Are they close to their family and have a wide circle of friends?

10) Do they prefer to stay at home or go out and travel?

Make sure that everything you wish for is compatible with your own lifestyle and don’t be too picky.

Good luck!

James Preece

The Dating Guru

Is their ex getting in your way?

Monday, September 23rd, 2013

Sometimes people stay friends with their exes,

This can make it hard for a new couple.

Here are some tips if you are worried about how to handle them:

1) Communicate. If their ex is getting in the way then you need to talk things through before problems build up. Find out what went wrong and what caused them to break up. Make sure there are no feelings left or questions unresolved. If you are worried about them getting in the way then it’s up to your partner to reassure you, not the other way around.

2) Give them Space. Let them meet every now and again if they are friends. They are entitled to have their own friends and they must at some point have had lots in common. If they feel like you are pressurizing them, they might panic and become defensive, which will cause tensions and arguments.

3) Don’t display signs of jealousy. Even if you are, then never ever let her know. Instead, be overfriendly with her and show her how happy you are with your partner. Always smile, laugh at his jokes, hold his hand and show her you are completely non-threatened by her.

4) Don’t compete. Keep in mind that you’ve already won as he’s chosen to be romantically involved with you. So don’t feel you have to outdo her or fall into the trap of constantly comparing yourself to her. It’s you that he wants to be with so it’s game over for her.

5) Don’t try and make him jealous or her angry. It can be tempting to flirt with other guys or try and wind her up, but game playing will only backfire on you. There’s no need to create barriers or problems if they don’t exist in the first place.

6) Get to know her – you might just make a new friend. You never know, she might even be more worried about what you are thinking than the other way round. At least if you know her and how she thinks then you have the strong advantage.

7) Make sure you have a wide social circle yourself. That way you have other people to talk to and aren’t dependent on your partner. He’ll know that you have other options and places to go to, which will make him realise life goes on without him.

8) Be cautious. If there are three of you in the relationship and she’s causing problems then take action. Just because he’s happy with you, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want him back. Watch out for warning signals like secret text and phone calls, him wearing clothes she likes or him simply disappearing.

9) Trust him. It can be hard, but it’s only through trust that a relationship can develop. Take his word that they are just friends, at least until something happens that makes you doubt otherwise!

10) Give it time. It might be an annoyance or inconvenience but don’t worry. She will eventually meet someone else and will be off the radar and out of your life. You don’t have to deal with her forever!

James Preece, Relationship and Dating Expert for

Always be polite

Monday, September 23rd, 2013

If you want to be successful at dating

there’s one rule you must always follow
Speed dating is a great way to meet lots of nice matches in a short space of time.   This means you will have very short conversations with a wide variety of different people.

Of course, you aren’t going to be attracted to every single one of them.  That’s just human nature.  The important thing is to remember to be polite to everyone.  It may sound obvious, but I overheard someone being a little to rude and dismissive at a recent event.  It was clear that they were finding the other person boring and yawned loudly to make a point.  This really is unacceptable behaviour.

Each date is only for a few minutes. If you don’t like them then you never have to speak to them again. Spend the time asking questions rather than answering them if you don’t want to reveal too much.

It’s so important to be respectful and polite to everyone you meet.  This is true whether it’s at an event, at a bus stop, in the supermarket or even walking down the straight.   You never know who you might be watching or who they may be able to introduce you to.

A smile and politeness cost nothing but they may help you get so much more back in return.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru


Will love happen when I stop trying?

Saturday, July 13th, 2013

Here’s some advice


on how to find love

There’s a well known saying that you’ll find love when you stop trying and don’t expect it.   People say that if you just forget about finding someone then they’ll find you anyway.

So should you stop looking?

My advice is absolutely not!  While I do believe it’s true to a certain extent, it’s also a fantastic excuse to do refuse responsibility.  If you are a happy, positive frame of mind and ready for love then it will come your way. The big secret is that you do have to give it a helping hand.

If you want to get something in life, whether it’s love, money, a new job or even a holiday then you need to take action.   For example, if you’d like a new job then you’d polish up your CV, send it out to prospective employees and attend some interviews.   You just wouldn’t sit back, do nothing and wait for one to find you.  Event if one magically does then you can guarantee it won’t be the best one you could possibly dream of.

So what should you do?  Well as well as the obvious things like going out on dates, why not try and do more for yourself.   Use your spare time to go out and get a new haircut, hit the gym or buy some new outfits.  Take the chance to sign up to learn some new skills, such as dancing or cooking. They will all help you feel and look amazing, which will therefore make it easier to meet someone wonderful.  If you enjoy your life and enjoy being who are then others will naturally want to share it with you.

The bottom line is this: Love will find you in the end but you need to help it along the way by being open and ready for it!

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Is something coming between you?

Monday, July 1st, 2013

There’s one very common thing

that could be ruining your relationships

Everyone leads such busy lives nowadays and we feel the constant pressure to keep on top of everything.  Technology has made things a little easier but this could be one of the main reasons that you are still single!

Picture the scene.  You are out on a first date with someone you are interested in and you enjoying chatting away.   Then you start to notice they have a rather annoying habit.  Every few minutes they pull out their phone and start checking texts.  This gets progressively worse during the even as they spend longer and longer answering writing messages.  The final straw comes when they take a call.

Has this happened to you?  Even worse, is this something YOU have done yourself during a date?

Your mobile phone can be your best friend or your worst enemy.  When you are out on a date, it’s all about first impressions. The whole point of meeting is to get to know each other and make them feel important.  If you keep constantly checking your phone then this will come across as extremely rude and that you couldn’t care less about talking to them.

I’ve even heard of someone taking a photo of their date and then forwarding it to a friend for feedback.  This is completely unacceptable .  So here are the three big rules when it comes to phones and date:

1) Turn it off

2) Put it away

3) Leave it in your pocket/ bag until the end of the date

It’s that simple.  If you really are expecting an urgent message then tell your date in advance and put the phone on silent.  If you pre-warn them then they are much more likely to be understanding if you need to reply.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Why have my messages disappeared?

Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

If you have vanishing sent messages

Perhaps this could be why.


We often get emails asking where sent messages have disappeared to on the site.

Well, in order to keep things running smoothly, messages are automatically deleted after 60 days. Otherwise your inbox could end up getting very confusing.  If you wish to save messages for a longer period, then you can archive them.

As well as this, if the other person deletes the message, or deletes their profile, the the message will also disappear from your sent message folder too.

You should also be aware that messages in bold haven’t been read yet. This is usually because they’ve not yet logged in or aren’t able to read messages as they don’t have credits or a membership.

If you are keen to hear from them, it’s always worth sending another message “reply paid” as that might encourage them to read and reply to you.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

The important of Smiles

Monday, June 10th, 2013

A good smile is the key

to successful dates


If you want to make people believe you are honest, friendly and trustworthy then you have to learn to smile.

If a baby wants you to like him then he’ll giggle and smile.  That’s because smiling is a natural instinct that we all learn very early on.  By showing our teeth we are proving to the world that we are not a threat.  Therefore it increases empathy and makes other people trust you.

A good smile is one that lifts at the upward corners of the mouth and also the eyes.   A fake, insincere smile doesn’t last as long and can be spotted at the subconscious level.

Great teeth are a sign of health and good breeding so having bad teeth is the ultimate turn off.  If they are too discoloured it can make you look a lot older than you really are. They don’t have to be perfect as that can also be off putting. Clean and cared for is enough.

Always remember to floss your teeth and use a mouthwash before you talk to anyone.  Bad breath is never acceptable and even worse than not smiling at all.

Try and smile at everyone you meet, including people you might pass on the straight.  This small action can brighten someone’s day and chances are many will smile back.

Happy dating!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

How to mess up a first date

Friday, May 31st, 2013

Has this weird thing

ever happened to you?

I’ve had a lot of emails about my blog post on how to avoid dating mistakes. A lot of people have told me about other very strange things people have said to them but there’s one thing that crops up scarily often.   I’ve heard this so many times that I wanted to share it with you.  If it’s happened to you too then let me know!

It’s what I call the “empty wallet” story…
To summarise, it goes like this.  The man invites the lady out on a date – perhaps  for a meal.  They get on well and at the end of the evening the bill arrives.  The man goes to open his wallet only to be stunned that he’s somehow left all his money ( and credit cards!) behind.

“Oh dear,” he says, ” I seem to have come out without any cash.  Would you mind paying now and I’ll get it next time?”

As if there would even be a next time. I’ve even heard a version of this where the man has ordered the most expensive items from the menu and the lady has just had salad and  a mineral water.  Another lady did foolishly agree to cough up and arranged another restaurant date only for him to try exactly the same trick again!

Men, this is absolutely not cool or funny.  This can’t be an accident and nobody goes out without any money.  Your main job on a date is to make the best first impression you possibly can.  If you refuse to pay then it makes you look mean, tight fisted and downright rude.   On top of this it will make you look incredibly stupid and you’ll undo any good work you might have made during the date.

So the bottom line is bring enough money to cover the date and act like a gentleman.

Of course it’s not just men who do this.  Many women expect the men to pay and will “forget” to bring money with them as a test.  Again, this is wrong. While the man should generally always pay on the first date, the woman should at least offer.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to talk to a shy person

Sunday, May 26th, 2013

Sometimes you’ll meet a shy person

when you are taking part in speed dating


This can sometimes be quite difficult, especially if you find they aren’t answering or asking your questions.  Most people are a little shy at heart but some of us are better at hiding it than others.  To problem with this is that it can make them seem like they are arrogant or full of themselves.

Here are a few quick tips that might help makes things a little easier:


1)  Speak softly.  A shy person won’t be too loud, so match their vocal tone and pace.

2)  Smile.    The best way to break through is build trust and the quickest way to do this is with a smile.

3)  Listen carefully.  If they think that you are truly interested in what they have to say then they’ll respond much more positively towards you.  So do ask lots of questions and find out what they are passionate about.

4)  Be patient.  Don’t rush them or act annoyed if they don’t want to do things at your pace.   They may take time to open up but it could well be worth waiting for.

5)  Don’t joke.   Don’t make inappropriate comments or say anything that might make them feel uncomfortable.  Be serious but stay friendly.


Just because they might be shy doesn’t mean they aren’t your Mr or Miss Right.  They came to the event for a reason so they are genuine in their intentions and respect that it might have been very difficult for them. Give them a chance!


Happy dating!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

Copying and Pasting

Monday, March 11th, 2013

Why is copying and pasting

a bad idea?

We know that online dating can sometimes seem like hard work.  First you have to find people you like, read their profile and then think of a carefully crafted message to get them interested.  This can be time consuming, so it can be tempting to speed things up a little.

So…rather than than write a proper email some people will write a short, pre-written email such as “Hi, I liked your profile.  Get in touch if you liked mine.”    They’ll then copy this message and send it to every single person they like the look of.

This method CAN work providing you have an amazing profile and photo.  You’ll also have to hope the person you’ve emailed isn’t getting many emails.

However, it’s pretty much a waste of time for both of you.   It’s annoying to get such a vague message and it clearly shows that you’ve not bothered to put any thought or effort in to getting to know them.  A copied and pasted message is very easy to spot and will usually get deleted or ignored.

The other problem is that some people may well be willing to give you a chance.  They’ll make a mental note to respond but it will be “low priority.”   Instead they’ll focus on writing back to the members who wrote interesting emails.  If they run out they may send you a quick reply…but only if they remember.

You need to stand out if you want to make a good impression.   Two minutes of writing a half decent message will get you much better results than ten minutes of copying and pasting.

Good luck!

James Preece

The Dating Guru

What caused my break up?

Monday, March 4th, 2013

Are you confused as to why


they broke up with you?

The end of a relationship is never pleasant, especially if you don’t fully understand what caused it.  If they don’t explain then you are left confused, disappointed and angry.  There could be many reasons why they ended it –  the most common of which I’m going to explain here in this blog.

1) They just aren’t ready to commit or give you want you want.   This is one of the most common causes for a break up.  If you don’t want to settle down yet then you aren’t giving them any “emotional security.”  You are  preventing them from getting what they want in their lives and this will results in you getting dumped.

2) They don’t trust you.  Perhaps they’ve caught you lying or cheating one two many times.  There comes a point when enough simply has to be enough.  If the issue is with them then there isn’t much you can do if you aren’t to blame.

3) They thought you were trying to change them.   If you are too critical and constantly nagging them to do things then it’s natural for them to assume you think they aren’t good enough for you.

4) The know deep down that you aren’t “the one”   If the chemistry and passion are not longer there then it’s kinder to end it.  Otherwise you are just delaying the inevitable.

5)  You aren’t treating them right.  Love is a two way thing and if you make them unhappy then there is no chance of a future.   So always be respectful and show them how much you mean to them while you are dating to stop this break up reason happening.


The best way to get over a break up is to start dating again.  It won’t be easy, but once you do you’ll begin to realise there ARE other people out there that will result in a much better relationship.

Good luck!

James Preece

The Dating Guru

How to Shake them Off

Monday, February 18th, 2013

Have you ever been stuck talking

to someone you aren’t keen on?

Some people just won’t take the hint.  You talk to them for a little while and once you’ve realised you aren’t interested then they just won’t take the hint.  So how do you break off the conversation without being too rude?   Here is my advice on how best to go about this:

1) Makes your excuses and leave.  It’s as easy as that.  Just tell them you need to use the toilet, want to catch up with a friend or simply that you want to speak to a variety of people.  Tell them you really enjoyed talking to them and you’ll chat to them again later in the evening.

2) Don’t accept a drink if you aren’t interested.  If you do, you’ll be obliged to stay talking with them for the duration of your drink.  It’s better to buy your own drinks and be free to mingle.

3) If you are at a singles event, use a host to help.   Tell them if someone won’t leave you alone and we’ll quickly introduce them to a more suitable match.

4) Always be polite.   You never know who might be watching or who they might be able to connect you with.  It’s fine to tell them you aren’t a good match, but do it respectfully and be as friendly as possible.

5) Don’t give out personal contact info to anyone you don’t intend to communicate with.  It sounds pretty obvious but some people will still send over all their contact info ( or hand out a business card) to anyone and everyone.   Don’t give anyone false hope that you will meet up with them again or you mind find they get frustrated and keep trying to get an explanation


Good luck!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

Want an Online Dating Profile Review?

Thursday, February 7th, 2013

Would you like some help with your

Online Dating Profile?

Would you like to get some feedback on your dating profile? Wish you had more hits? Can’t work out why nobody is contacting you?

Then it’s time to get some help.
Each month, our Dating Guru James Preece will take a look at one profile. He’ll rewrite it and offer his expert opinion on what would make things better for you.

James has been a Dating Expert for over seven years now, helping 1000s of singles and giving dating advice to countless magazines, newspapers, radio and TV shows.

If you’d like to be considered for this, then please email him at [email protected] with your username in the message so he can take look. The person who he believes he can help most next month will be featured in this blog.

We’d also like our members to offer their own (contructive) thoughts and insights too. You’ll be able to do this by commenting on each blog.


If you’d pefer more detailed, one-to-one help or coaching you can reach him at:



Keep it quiet

Monday, January 21st, 2013

Sometimes saying nothing

is the right thing to do.

Online dating can present you with a huge choice of possible partners.  Of course, not everyone is going to fit the criteria and be a suitable match.  So you will almost certainly get lots of messages for Muslim men or Muslim women who you simply won’t be interested in.

We would  normally suggest that you politely let them know that you aren’t keen, perhaps using one of our special pre-written options.  However, this isn’t always the best thing to do.  Why?  Well, nobody likes to be rejected and it can often be very difficult to accept.  If you say you aren’t a good match, they’ll think differently and try to argue their case.

So sometimes it might be best to just ignore the message and spend time writing to someone you ARE interested in.

It’s also worth pointing out that if you write to someone and then don’t reply, it’s always worth a second attempt on a different day.  Perhaps they might look upon your more favourably when they are in a better mood.  Send a reply paid credit too to maximise your changes. However, if you still don’t hear back then move on to someone else instead.

Remember that this is someone out there for everyone, but you do have to put a little effort into searching for them first.
Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Respect and First Impressions

Monday, December 10th, 2012

First impressions are so important

You never know who is watching!


It’s so important that you remember to be nice and polite to everyone you meet at our introduction events.   Of course, you won’t like everyone,  but  you can make or break someone’s evening and confidence by how you respond to them.

It can take a lot of guts to decide to turn up at a singles event.  Everyone is very nervous ( at least for the first time) and it can be quite scary even to walk in to a venue.  So you might not ever be thinking straight to start with.  However, that’s no excuse to be rude to anyone or to be dismissive.  If you are nasty to someone it can dent their confidence and completely ruin their evening – all without you realising.

If you find yourself chatting to someone you rather wish you weren’t, then it’s no big deal.   Your three and a half minutes will soon be up and you’ll move on to another person who may interest you more.  However, if they’ve seen you be blunt or cruel to the other person then they’ll assume you are like that with everyone and treat you the same.

The bottom line is please be nice to everyone you meet.  Treat them as you’d like to be treated.  Ask lots of questions and pretend you think they are wonderful.  That way you’ll leave them feeling a little happier and give them a better chance of meeting someone more suitable.

I always advise you to spend a few minutes reflecting before you walk in.  Imagine everything going really well and that you’ll be fascinated by each and every person that you meet during the evening.  Stand tall and smile as much as you can.  Then, and only then, should you enter.   You’ll find the evening much more positive and fun this way.

Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Replying to emails

Sunday, November 18th, 2012

So….you get lots of emails.


So why aren’t you replying to them?

We’ve noticed that a few people are getting lots of messages through the site, but never actually responding to them.  This isn’t good!

What we’d really like you to do is at least reply to more of these people, even if its to say “thanks but no thanks.” It’s just plain old courtesy. To make this easy for you we even have standard responses such as “thanks but I’m not looking at the moment” or “You aren’t my type.” It only takes a few seconds and they’ll at least know that you have acknowledged there existence.

Some people don’t reply because they don’t want to have to pay for the service which we also find quite strange. If you aren’t serious about meeting someone then why fill out your profile in the first place? If you start making the effort and communicating with people then you’ll soon start making new friends and lining up dates.  If you want to learn to swim you have to start by putting your toe in the water after all!

We also advise sending a credit with a message to make sure the recipient can read it just in case they are new the site. Oh and don’t worry, if you do send a credit they can only reply to your message, not save it to contact someone else!

If you really aren’t interested in making contact with anyone or are perhaps currently dating then it might be a better idea to hide your profile.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to double your chances

Monday, October 29th, 2012

Would you like twice as many

poeple to see your profile?

So you’ve spent lots of time crafting the perfect dating profile.  You’ve added a photo and people are looking at it.  That’s great, but would you like to know how to double the amount of views? More views should mean more emails and therefore more opportunities for dates.

Remember that everyone is looking for different things and the first thing they will see is your photo.  If you’ve got a good, happy smiling one that you’ll do better than average. There’s still room for improvement though.

All you need to do is change your photos once every couple of weeks.  Make sure it’s quite a bit different to the old one, perhaps by the background or the look on your face.  Even something simple like a different colour shirt or dress can do the trick. Don’t just add it to your album, but delete the old one and save the new image.  Why?   Well it will give the impression that you are a whole new person and you’ll get a second look.

Just make sure that you’ve written an interesting profile or you won’t get more messages.

Good luck!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

Are you a serial dater?

Monday, October 22nd, 2012

Dating is great fun

but it can also be addictive!


When you are an active dater then you can get a real thrill and buzz from it.   There’s something very exciting about your very first meeting – the initial contact, getting to know each other and the possibilities.   However, sometimes it is possible to have to much of a good thing.   When you try online dating you are presented with almost unlimited matches and you might end up just having lots of first dates rather than relationships.

Here are three signs that you might be a serial dater:

1) You stop bothering to make an effort.  If you know that you have other dates in the diary, then it might be tempting not to worry too much how things work out.  So you need to make sure you continue to ask lots of questions and make the other person feel special, even if you aren’t interested.

2)  You get obsessed with someone you’ve not met yet and start fantasizing about your future.  This is a clear warning sign that you aren’t taking dating seriously and you are just doing it for the next thrill.   To get a true connection you need to actually meet up and get to know each other.

3) You become too fussy.   With so much choice comes the problem that you might overlook people too quickly.  If you find yourself constantly running in search of the next date rather than settling down, you could well be a serial dater.  If you see any sort of potential then you should always give them a second chance.  Nobody is perfect so keep that in mind when you are dating.

If this sounds like you then the best thing you can do it give things a break for a few weeks.   That means no dating,  no emailing and no thinking about either.  Instead, spend time meeting your friends and doing things you enjoy.  When you get back on track you’ll be able to see things from a new, fresh perspective.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to use the telephone

Sunday, October 14th, 2012

If you want a date you need

to sharpen your phone skills!


Some people can get nervous when it comes to talking to a potential date on the telephone.  Instead, they’d rather just text or email until the first date.  However, it’s really nothing to be scared of and the telephone can be used to your advantage if you know how!


1) The telephone forces you to lose one of your most power senses – eye contact.  The other person can’t see you nodding your approval or shaking your head so you need to make up for this.  Instead say things like “I hear you” and “I agree” and they’ll know you are both in sync.

2) Keep the first conversation short.  I always suggest you limit your first chat to ten minutes.   Use it to mainly just to establish a first date.  If you spend two hours chatting away before you’ve even met, what will you talk about when you finally do?

3) Treat the call as if you are auditioning.   Imagine they are sat opposite you and overact!   Even though they can’t see you, if you gesture when you speak it will make you sound more engaging.   I find that standing up helps you sound your best as it’s easier to breathe.

4) Most importantly – smile!     Try saying this line out loud now  “I’m having a wonderful day.”   Say it three times, once with no expression, once with a big grin and once with frown.  Do you see how smiling can lift your mood and makes you sound so much friendlier?

5) Work the answerphone.  This tip is valid for when you leave a message as well as your own voicemail recording.    The last thing you want is for somebody to be turned off just because of your ten second message.  Keep it simple, warm and friendly. No gimmicks, no sound effect and no jokes.    Smile when you record it and keep it short and sincere.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

No need to rush

Monday, October 8th, 2012

Do you find your relationships

fizzle out much too quickly?

This is a common complaint that I hear and one that you can easily fix.   The trouble it some people let their relationships get much too serious and intense too quickly.

Think of dating like eating a meal in a top restaurant.  Rather than gulp it down in one go, you’d savour each mouthful.  You’d appreciate each and every bite and ponder over the taste and texture. You should be enjoying the dating process and spreading it out over a few months.  If your first few dates are long drawn out affairs then future meetings will never quite be the same.  If you are too keen too quickly then that can be a turn off or come across as a little desperate.

You really don’t need to speaking for hours on the phone in between dates – at least not in the early stages.  If you do, the you mind find you have nothing left to talk about when you meet face to face.

So when you are dating, take plenty of time to get to know each other.   Studies have shown that the longer the initial dating period is, then the more likely the couple are to stay together in a committed relationship.

Being apart is often the very thing that keeps you interested.  It’s a chance to miss and think about each other. You must be sure that you are right for each other and that process is longer than you probably expect.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Give them a second look

Monday, October 1st, 2012

Take a look at this photo

What can you see?


People can be much too judgemental when they run a search on a dating site.  Before they even have a look at the profiles, they can scan hundreds of photos very quickly. They will almost instantaneously decide who they like and who they don’t , based on a small photograph.

I’d strongly advise you to change this way of looking at things as it works against you and stop you meeting someone.  Not everyone will look good in photos and many people look better in real life – so do your best not to be so restrictive so quickly.

Most people will have more than one photograph in their album and you might discover you like the look of  one of them more than the main image.   You might not think the first photo is your type but that doesn’t mean that the others one won’t be.   This can be a fantastic icebreaker as you can make a comment on one of these photos.  Perhaps you can ask where it was taken or ask about an item of clothing they are wearing.  Use your imagination and the possibilities are endless.

Lastly, try and have a good read of their profile too.  This can often give you a better idea of character, beliefs etc and you might well find something that you like the sound of.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Three ways that you blew the first date

Monday, September 10th, 2012

Sometimes you have a great date

but then never hear from them again.

This does not always mean that they didn’t like you!   Instead, it might well be that you gave off signals of disinterest of said something that suggested you weren’t keen.  So rather than risk getting hurt or rejected they try and do it first.

Here are three common mistakes that people make that you might not be aware of. If you can avoid these then you might find you have a much better success rate when it comes to getting second dates:


1) You wished them good luck at the end of the date.   You might think this is a friendly thing to say, but they will interpret it as you saying you aren’t interested. As in good luck with the rest of your life.

2) You texted lots before you met but didn’t have much to say when you did.  Save the conversation for when you meet, otherwise you’ll have nothing to talk about.

3) You talked about other people you are talking to online.   Keep this sort of information to yourself and focus on making them feel special instead.  If you go on about others then they’ll naturally assume you aren’t keen on them.


Happy dating!


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Are you revealing too much?

Monday, September 3rd, 2012

Online dating is great to meet new people

But make sure you don’t tell them everything.

Did you know that you could be telling future partners so much more than you ever thought?    While you keeps contact through the site, the only information you have on each other is what you write there.  This means it’s extremely safe and private.

However, think carefully before you starting revealing more personal details.

If they have your real name and email address, it can be very easy to find more information out.  I’m sure you’ve ever done this ( or been tempted) to do it yourself.

1)  Facebook.  On here you can see photos, wall posts, friends lists and so much more. Make sure you’ve set your profile to private so only close friends can see it.

2) LinkedIn.   This reveals your education and work history.  If you don’t want anyone finding out where you work then don’t reveal this.

3) Twitter.  What sort of tweets are you sending out on Twitter?  Make sure you don’t send anything you’ll ever regret.

4) Google.    You never quite know what might pop on if you do an Internet search.  Try one on yourself now and see what it shows.

5) Friends Reunited.   This isn’t as popular as it used to be , but it’s still used as a tool for looking up people.

So my best advice would be to keep everything on the site until you’ve actually met up and know you like each other.  That way it’s all anonymous and they can’t find out anything else about you.

Happy dating!

James Preece – Dating Expert

Keeping things positive

Monday, August 13th, 2012

Sometimes dating can seem like a struggle

Here’s how to make it better

Dating is supposed to be fun, but we know that every now and again it can be frustrating.  You might put lots of effort in and find yourself being disappointed when none of them lead to anything.  It’s very important that you to upbeat and positive as they are attractive qualities.  Nobody wants to date a pessimist 🙂

So today I’ve put together some quick tips to help you stay positive.

1) Enjoy the Process. Instead of expecting every date to lead to the “one” think of it as a chance just to have fun.  Meeting new people is always useful and you might make a new friend.

2) Do something different.  The best way to break from a dull routine is to shake things up a little.  So use the chance to try some new activities – either on dates or on your own.

3) Don’t do it alone. Team up with your single friends and talk about your experiences.  Attend some of our introduction events together and compare notes.

4) Make a list.  The best way to stay positive is to write down a list of all the things you like about your life.  That will remind you than there many things you are happy and grateful about.

5) Don’t give up.  It’s the ones who stick at it and put the effort it that get results.  You might feel tempted to give up, but if you do how will ever know who might be around the corner?

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Make them laugh

Monday, August 6th, 2012

What is the secret to creating a good impression?


When it comes to meeting someone for the first time – perhaps during one of our Muslim speed dating events – you can both be a little nervous.  You’ll both be so concerned about making a great first impression that you’ll come across as little too serious.

This is why you need to inject some fun into it.  A little humour can go a long way and be a brilliant icebreaker. After all, a “great sense of humour” is often the number one thing singles specify when they are seeking a match.

Laughing itself  can make you both feel amazing.  If you use it properly, you can trigger intense biological responses from everyperson you meet.  This is because the simple muscle contactions used in producing a laugh can trigger an increase in the levels of endorphins, the brain chemicals known for their feel good effect.

You don’ t need to learn a jokebook,  but if you hear a funny joke then make a point of remembering it.  To be natural, find something amusing to comment on or talk about something that made you laugh recently.   It’s not really about what you say, but the way you say it. Make eye contact with the person you are speaking to, talk with confidence, and they will find you incredibly funny and interesting.  Be gently teasing but never rude.

It’s also a great first date idea to take someone to see a live comedy show.  The funnier it is then the more relaxed you’ll both feel and it’s a great start to a relationship.

Good luck,


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Stay Safe on our Muslim Dating Site

Monday, July 30th, 2012

Online dating is a great way to meet

Just make sure you do it safely.

If you’ve been talking to someone via our Muslim dating site then you’ll want to arrange your first meeting.

Sometimes you will of course have a chaperone, but not everyone does this nowadays.  So if you are meeting alone, then there are few basic rules that you will need to keep in mind.

Never let yourself feel pressurised into anything. If your date is genuinely interested in your happiness then they will want you to feel comfortable.   If they protest, they aren’t the right person for you.


1) Wait until you feel comfortable with an individual before you starting giving them your phone number, email address place of work or home address.  Use the anonymity of the site until you are ready.


2) Always make your own way to the date – don’t accept a lift there.  Meet in a public place with lots of people – such as a coffee shop.


3) Tell someone where you are going and make sure they check up on you during the date.


4) Keep an eye on your personal possessions.  Don’t leave mobile phones, wallets or handbags lying around.


5) If you don’t feel comfortable, end the date immediately.


Happy dating!


James Preece

The Dating Guru


Get to know their family

Monday, July 16th, 2012

One secret of Muslim Dating success

is to work on your relationship with their family.

For a Muslim, family is extremely important.  So if you want to date someone then you must make sure that their family likes you.  After all, they will be the authority and will give permission for their son or daughter to date you. Each family has different rules that you will need to follow.

Chances are that a family member will be chaperoning them on your dates, so meals with them will be more common than time alone. So it’s very important that you get on the right side of them and use them to help you.


Here are some quick tips to help with this:

1) Be clear with your intentions.  The family will want you to be serious about getting married so let them know this to be correct. Act politely and respectfully towards everyone you come across.  If they think for a second that you aren’t looking for a long term relationship they will quickly make things difficult for you.


2) If you are ever unsure on how to act, ask a family member. They will be able to let you know what is appropriate and what is not. It is always better to ask than to make a mistake you may come to regret.


3) Get to know as many people in the family as possible.  This includes the oldest grand parents right down to the youngest children.  They will all have some influence. Ask lots of questions and show an interest in their lives and they will show an interest in yours. Remember that these people could well become your own family.


Good luck!




James Preece – The Dating Guru

Don’t copy and paste

Monday, June 25th, 2012

Copying and pasting messages doesn’t work

Read this blog to find out why.

Dating can sometimes be a little time consuming. You need to contact lots of people to make it work, so it’s often tempting to try and cut corners to save time.  So some people will send out the same opening message to everyone, without tailoring it to fit the person they are contacting.

If you want to get someone’s attention then you need to make some effort.  It’s very easy to spot if someone has taken the time to message you or just copied and pasted the same one for each person.  They are usually boring two liners such as “I like your profile. Get in touch.”

So for this reason we strongly advise that you don’t copy and paste messages. This is a terrible tactic that rarely works.

If you do decide to copy and paste, then chances are that you are just wasting your time as well as the person reading the message.  You’ll wonder why you aren’t getting any interest and quickly give up.

You don’t need to write long witty essays, just tell them what you liked about their profile, what you have in common and why they should meet you.   The idea is to sell yourself and stand out from all the other members on our dating site.  If you don’t stand out ( for the right reasons) then you’ll just get lost and nobody will remember you.

It’s so simple really – a  little effort and you’ll get much bigger rewards!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to boost your mood

Sunday, June 17th, 2012

Would you like to feel happier?

Here’s some quick tips which will help!

With this rainy weather it can be easy to see why you might be a fed up at the moment. If you aren’t in a fantastic mood, this can play havoc with your dating life .

If the smiling kitten photo hasn’t cheered you up already, here are my five top tips to feel happier.


1) Appreciate what you have. If you take a while to reflect, you’ll soon realise you have so many wonderful things in your life. This can include things like great friends, family, good health for example.

2) Make a list of what you have to look forward to. This can be big things, such as holidays, parties or even a pay rise . Your can also list small things that will still cheer you up. This can be a coffee break, favourite television show or cooking a nice meal. If there aren’t enough things on your list then start planning!

By doing this you will be able to start living in the present moment. Many of us worry about what the future holds, so make sure you’ve prepared as many positive things as possible.

3) Play some music. Uplifting, happy tunes can stimulate the creative areas of your brain, providing an instant mood lift. Just make sure the music is upbeat – nothing sad or too slow!

4) Go for a walk. Your physiology determines your emotions so if you start to energise yourself your blood will flow more and you’ll feel much happier very quickly. For double the effect, why not combine this with tip 3 by plugging in your Ipod and strolling through the park?

5) Smile! You might need to fake it at first, but you’ll notice that you can’t help but feel better when you smile. It’s a natural body response. As an added bonus, if you smile at people it makes them feel better about themselves and you’ll find many smile back, boosting your happiness even more!

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Why you MUST fill in your Online Dating Profile

Wednesday, June 6th, 2012

Too busy to fill in your profile properly?

Here’s why you need to do it right now.

Imagine if you clicked this blog and all you read was “I’ll come back to this later.”     How would you feel? Perhaps disappointed and ever so slightly cheated.

It never ceases to amaze us how often people don’t bother filling in their profile properly.  A lot of people will write things such as “I’ll tell you Later,” “Ask Me for more Info” or “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”     This is such a waste of time!   What sort of message do you thing this gives to other members?   Firstly, it makes you look ignorant and lazy. If you can’t be bothered to take the time to write a few things about yourself then why should anyone else be interested in getting to know you?

Remember that your profile is there as an advert.  If you write interesting things then you’ll give other people the chance to ask you about them. The more interesting and fun you sound then the more chance there is that they will contact you.

Think very carefully about what you DO say. Don’t write things for the sake of it.

As a guideline, write a few well crafted lines about yourself, followed by a couple of lines about the sort of person you are looking for. You don’t have to write an essay –  too much is almost as bad as too little – but just enough to give everyone a snapshot of your personality.

Very important:  Include a “Call to Action” at the end of your profile.   This is a sentence that will encourage people to get in touch.  This can be a direct statement, such as “Contact me now and let’s see if there’s a spark!”  or “What are you waiting for?  Email me !”     Alternatively, it can be a question.

So take a few minute out of your busy lives now to write a better profile.   You’ll see the rewards as soon as the emails start flooding in!

James Preece  – The Dating Guru

Say something

Monday, May 21st, 2012

Wondering why you aren’t getting much interest?

This could be why!

So you’ve filled out your profile, added a great photo and you’ve paid for a membership. Then you start sending out lots of personalised messages to other Muslim singles you like the look of.   You know these are the most important steps to getting results when it comes to dating. So why aren’t you getting many replies?

Well, it might well be that you don’t have *enough* in your profile.  If you haven’t written very much or your profile is too vague then many people might just overlook it completely.

This is because if you don’t write much it looks you are trying to hide something.  Remember, the idea is to try to sell yourself and talk about all the things you have to offer.  If you don’t write very much then it comes across that you are lazy and can’t be bothered.   The popular members of a site such as will be getting lots of messages and will focus on replying only to the people who have made an effort.  They just won’t have time to write to you if don’t have anything to say.

So take a few moments now to fill in more details, even if it’s just about your favourite hobbies, musical takes or sports you like.  It also helps to write something topical, perhaps about a recent television show of film that you enjoyed.

The more “talking points” you have then the more there is to stimulate their imagination.  It’s this that will make them curious about you and want to get to know more.


Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

What do you have in common?

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

Here’ s a quick tip

to increase your speed dating chances.


You only have three to four minutes on a speed date, so you need to make them count!

The key thing on a date is to try to discover as quickly as possible just exactly how many things you have in common.

Why?  Well people like people who are like them.  It’s as simple as that.  So the more things that connect you then the stronger the possibility of a relationship.

So you absolutely must try to find common talking points.  As well as the usual things, like hobbies, place you live, favourite films and televisions shows, you should

try and think outside the box too.

For example:

Where have you travelled to in the world? Perhaps you’ve been to the same places.

Do you collect anything?

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Are you a morning or an evening person?

Where have you lived and where would you like to move to?

Of course, it’s good to talk about other things too but you must build a foundation to build on.  Opposites to attract….but not as often as two people who can talk for hours and hours about something they are both incredibly passionate about!

Don’t ask too many questions or it will seem like a job interview.  So offer information first and see if they can slot something in with it naturally as part of the conversation.  Remember that once your speed dating session is over, it doesn’t have to be the end of the chat.  You can pick up where you left off at the end of the evening during the mingling time.

Good luck,

James Preece  – The Dating Guru

Great Speed Dating Questions you can Use

Thursday, April 12th, 2012

Speed dating is great fun

But sometimes it can be hard to be interesting

I always advise that you think up lots of great questions that you ask people to keep conversation flowing. There is nothing worse that an awkward silence when you are first getting to know someone. Make sure you don’t ask open ended questions as you’ll only get “yes or no” answers which can kill your conversation immediately.

There are only a certain amount of times you can ask what the other person’s name is, where they work and where they are from.

To get you started, we’ve come up with some great questions that you can ask. Just remember to really listen to the answers and don’t keep firing off questions. Instead, try and blend them naturally into your chat.

1) Are you a morning or night person?
2)Do you believe in life on other planets?
3)Do you have any bad habits?
4)Do you prefer sweet or salty foods?
5)If you were a fictional character who would you be?
6) Which is your most cherished childhood memory?
7) If you could be any animal, what would you be?
8 ) If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
9) If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?
10) If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on?
11) What do you think about right before falling asleep?
12)What is one thing that no one knows about you?
13) If you could have three wishes what would they be?
14) What is one thing you like about being an adult?
15) What is one thing you miss about being a kid?
16) What is one thing you would change about yourself?
17) What is your dream job?
18 ) If you were stranded on a desert island, what three items would you most want ?
19) In case you and I were going out and we had a fight. How would you try to patch things up?
20) What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?
21) What is your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?
22) What is your first thought when you wake up?

23) What personality traits do you look for in a partner?

24) What was your favorite childhood television program?

25) Would you rather be rich or have true love?

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Proactive vs Reactive

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

Do you take action to get what you want?

Or do you sit and wait to see what comes to you?


We quite often get emails from members saying they are disappointed that they’ve not had many emails on the site.

The strange thing is, when we look into it we  usually notice that they haven’t sent any messages out themselves! To be successful with online dating, you need to take action and not just sit back and wait for things to happen. This is true for whoever you are and whatever you do.

For example, if you are job seeking would  you post off  your CV to the ones you like or do you hope that job finders will magically find you? If you hoped to start a business, would you try and promote it or pray that customers will come to you instead. I hope you get my point.

Even if you have an amazing photo and an outstanding profile, Mr or Miss Right might be getting emails from other people while you hesitate. Rather than try and find you, they will spend their time getting to know others instead.

The people who get what they want in life as those who make a plan and follow through on it. Spend at least  20 minutes each day carefully searching through profiles that you like and send them a quick carefully crafted email. Don’t give up if you don’t have a fast response, just keep learning and writing emails for a couple of weeks. You’ll be delighted when the replies start coming in.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

What should you do after a first date?

Friday, March 30th, 2012

People are often confused after a first date.

Who should contact who and when?

The problem with first dates is that you never know what the other person is thinking.  You might think it was amazing but they just weren’t feeling it.  In fact, they are probably also wondering what the next step should be.

Firstly, it’s polite to thank them. You only need to send a quick text when you get home.

There are three possible choices:

You aren’t sure if you want to see them again.

Life isn’t easy and you might well have mixed emotions about a date. I’d always sugget a second date if you are undecided but you’ll need time to think it over.   Leave it 24 hours to think carefully about it and then go on to one of the next two steps.

You want to see them again

Great!  Let them know you thought it went well and you’d like to see them again.  Assuming they liked you too, they’ll be pleased to have their minds put at rest. Make sure you arrange a second date around one week after your first one.  Any later and you’ll forget the connection, any sooner and you might burn out too quickly!  It can be hard to find things to say if nothing new has happened in the time you’ve been apart.

You don’t want to see them again

It’s hard line between being hurting someone’s feelings and making it clear you don’t have a future.   However, I’d always advise letting them know this quickly so they don’t hold out hope of further dates.  It’s  best to be honest but if you can’t, tell them you thought they were cool but reminded you too much of your brother or sister.

Quite often you just won’t hear from them again. They’ll vanish and you’ll never hear from them again. You’ll probably never find out why but when this happens but be happy that you had a narrow escape and start looking again for someone better.

Happy Dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

5 biggest Speed Dating Turn Offs

Monday, March 26th, 2012

Here are 5 quick speed dating turn offs

Are you making any of them?

Speed dating is a fantastic way to meet new people. However, you need to put some thought into making sure you mini date is memorable for all the right reasons. Four minutes is not long at all so you must make the best impression you can.

Here are a few of the things I’ve seen people doing wrong over the last few months. I hope you will read this so you can avoid making the same mistakes.

1) Not introducing yourself

Before you being a conversation you need to smile, say hello and state your name.  Then they’ll give you theirs and the date begins.  However, some people just come over and say hello . If you don’t swap names then you will be forgettable!

2) Forgetting personal hygiene.

This is very important.  Always take a shower before you come and wear a nice clean pressed outfit.  There’s nothing worse than sweat patches and smelling like you’ve just run a marathon.   Deodorant and a quick tab of perfume/ aftershave takes seconds.

3) Being Forceful

Whatever you do, don’t demand a phone number or email address right there and then.  Just take note of their username and contact them on the website for free the next day.  If you start insisting they give you their contact info then it comes across as rude and youll blow your chances.

4) Saying stupid things.

Be careful that you don’t say the wrong thing, even in jest.   Keep your conversation conservative or you risk offending them.  You might have a great sense of humour but if they’ve not had time to realise that they might take what you say seriously.

5) Being Cold or dismissive

Everyone is a little shy at first but that’s no excuse to be rude.  Even if you aren’t interested, it’s polite to be respectful and good practice for the people you like. Ask lots  of questions and show an interest, even if you have pretend.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to have an amazing conversation

Monday, February 20th, 2012

Anyone can have a conversation

Here’s how to have an amazing one!

Talking is all part of successful dating, so make sure that when you open your mouth you are doing it effectively. So many people clam up and ruin the start of a potential great match.  So here are some quick tips to boost your chances.


1) Ask Questions.  The best way to be likeable is to be interested in the other person.  Ask good questions that show you find them fascinating.

2) Listen.  This is so important and easy to get wrong. You really need to keep up your concentration so you don’t look bored.  You must face the person speaking with your arms uncrossed. Lean forward a little and maintain eye contact at all time.  Acknowledge statements with a nod, comment or question when appropriate.

3) Keep it light hearted.  This isn’t a job interview so relax and enjoy the conversation.  If you can make them smile or laugh then you are doing and saying the right things.

4) Know what’s happening in the world.  The goal is to keep the other person stimulated and interested. Read newspapers and keep an eye on the headlines as well as the pop culture gossip!

5) Speak at the right pace.  Don’t speak to quickly or bore them to tears.   The right tempo is a positive, upbeat, thoughtful one.

6) You don’t need to fill in all the gaps.   Every conversation has short periods of silence.  Don’t panic and feel you have to gabble on about something just for the sake of it.  Instead, use the moment to quietly reflect on what’s being said.



Happy dating!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

How to enter a party

Saturday, February 18th, 2012

What first impression do you give off?

Enter a party the RIGHT way.

Speed dating doesn’t start once the bell rings, but from the first second you walk into the venue.

People often forget that once they open the door, everyone will be turning to look at them.  It’s just human nature to be curious. Yes, I understand that you might be shy and nervous but the big secret is to act as if you aren’t.

I’ve watched some guests enter while staring at the floor and looking incredibly uncomfortable.  They don’t even smile or say hello to us hosts and don’t even listen to find out how the evening is going to work.  Remember that we are there to help and make you more relaxed about everything.

Here are some quick tips that will help you make a great entrance.

1) Just before you enter, breathe slowly to compose yourself.
2) Now walk slowly and confidently up to the doorway.
3) Imagine the doorway has a rope hanging down, that pulls you up to your full height. No slouching allowed.
4) Stand in the doorway and SMILE and pause for a couple for seconds.
5) As you walk in, make eye contact with anyone nearby and try to be warm and friendly.


Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

A Speed Dating Mistake

Monday, January 30th, 2012

Are you boring people on your speed dates?

Stop making this classic mistake.

Speed dating can be a fantastic way of getting to know lots of singles in a very short space of time.   But many people seem to make the same big mistake.  If you are aware of this then you can make sure you avoid it.

The trouble is that everyone asks the same questions.  These are usually, “”What’s your name?”  Where do you Live? Where do you work”   All fine, but after a few speed dates this gets tiring very quickly.

So what you need to know is think up some interesting things to ask in advance.

For example, why not ask if they’ve got any holidays coming up or what their dreams and ambitions are?  People love to talk about things they are passionate about and will connect with you more.  It’s not hard to be more imaginative.

Don’t bombard them with questions as it’s not an interrogation.  Instead, show that you are curious about them and that you find them fascinating.  If you smile when you speak it will help too.

Finally, don’t be afraid to talk to them once the speed dating formal sessions are over.   We always allow plenty of mingling time after the event, so you can get a chance to continue any conversations that  you started.


Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

New Year – New Love

Friday, January 6th, 2012

2012 is already here.

There’s no better time to find love.


Time really does fly by. You make the plan to finally meet someone amazing but life always seems to get in the way.

However, everyone feels more positive at the start of a new year.  It’s the busiest time for a dating site and the perfect opportunity for you to start putting a plan into action.

We have many new members who have just singed up and want to meet YOU.  Perhaps one of them is your Mr or Miss Right? If you don’t contact them right now then you’ll never know.

If you really want to find a life partner, then you have to take the first steps now.

So sign up to the Muslim Single Solution, add a great photos and write a profile.  Send out messages to anyone you like the look of and most importantly – book a few of our marriage introduction events.  It’s so easy to do all this and only takes a little of your time.  A small amount of effort really could get you amazing results.

There’s no better time than right now and remember that we are here to help you along your journey.


Good luck!


James Preece – The Muslim Single Solution

What image do you present?

Monday, December 5th, 2011

Image is everything in dating.

So what does your photo say about you?

It’s so important to remember what kind of message you are giving out when it comes to online dating. You need to carefully craft your profile and sell yourself in the best way possible. After all, it’s an advert all about “you.”

However, lots of people still seem to be unclear about the best photos to use.  It’s strange that even thought it’s December, we are seeing lots of people attempting to add photographs of them wearing sunglasses.  This is a bad idea at any time of the year as it hides your eyes.  These really are the window to the soul and the first way someone can tell if they like the look of you or not. If you hide your eyes then what else are you hiding?

Yes, we know you think it makes you look cool but it really has the opposite effect.  So we have a no sunglasses rule for your primary image.  If you must have a sunglasses shot then please only use it for your photo album, not the main image.

The same goes for hats.  Men seem to be especially fond of them.  If you are wearing a hat then it’s not clear if you have hair or not. Women like to know this from the outset and many don’t mind bald men. So don’t try to fool anyone as nobody likes to be misled.

If you aren’t sure what photo to use then you can always ask our opinion and we will do our best to help.  There are several blogs about photos and there is a very simple guide on the photo upload screen.  So please don’t make these mistakes are you wasting your own time.

Remember that we want you to find love and have dating success, so please take out advice and use it to make it work for you!

Good luck!
James Preece

The Dating Guru

Women: Why you should contact men

Sunday, November 20th, 2011
Here’s a useful tip for all women.
This will triple your success rate.

Lots of Muslim women think  that they should wait for men to message them on internet sites. They might have the traditional view that it’s up to men to message them first or are worried about appearing to be forward. So they wait and wait and wonder why they never seem to get messages from men they are interested in.
Men and women approach internet dating in different ways, and once you realise this you can use it to your advantage.  Men tend to collect up their “favourites” and then contact many women at once, in one big hit. This is called the Shotgun approach and is very hit and miss. Women, on the other hand, can be more selective and will either wait to see who contacts them or just send one or two messages.

The secret is to be proactive and actively target men you are interested. Don’t sit and wait for them to come to you or someone else will snap them up. Imagine you are applying for a job and your dating profile is your CV.  Would you send out your CV to prospective employees or would you expect them to come and find you first?
Check back on the site every day and contact the new men.  By doing so, you’ll be top listed in the searches as shows the men the most recent women to log into the site.  You’ll then find more men are contacting you anyway.

Men really do like it when women contact them first.  If you’ve got a great photo, interesting profile and are in the right age group then this is very flattering.  What man wouldn’t be interested?  It’s not overly flirtatious to write to a man – after all you are both on a dating site with the same intentions.
So what is the best thing to say?    Imagine you are in a bar or at a party. How would you get their attention? Perhaps you’d look over and smile.  You need to do the same thing in your first email. Write just enough to get them hooked and capture their imagination.   Ask them how their day is going or what they are up to for the weekend.

So why not send some messages now?  You’ll see much better results and might just make someone’s day!

Good luck!

James Preece
The Dating Guru

Make Online Dating work for you

Monday, November 14th, 2011

Online Dating really does work

Here are my quick tips to help  you.

1) Some people like to email all day long, but this is pointles  Send two or three emails, then get a phone number.  Speak for no more than 10 minutes and arrange a date there and then.
Don’t email endlessly back and forth or you’ll have nothing left to say.

2) Most people know this, but your photo is the key to getting attention.  Yet the vast majority think they know
best and get it wrong!  Choose a recent photo of you on a really good day. Make it a clear, happy shot that makes you look trustworthy and fun.

3) Your profile is an advert so make sure it sells you in the best possible light.  Make it 70% about you and 30% about the person you are looking for.

4) Change your photo every two weeks. That way you’ll get women looking at your profile who might have rejected you before. They’ll think you are a new person!

5) Always end with a question or an invitation.  This gives the other person something to contact you about and will break the ice. Anything at all which might encourage them to reply or get in touch can only be a good thing.


Good luck!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

The Three Day Rule?

Monday, October 31st, 2011

We’ve all heard of the 3 day dating rule.

But is this really effective?

The three day rule is where you wait three days to call someone after you first get your number.  The idea behind it is that you don’t want to appear too keen and should give them a chance to think about the possibility you aren’t interested.

Funnily enough, the three day rule was created by a film called “Swingers” and has been embedded in people’s minds ever since:

“Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it’s like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?

Sue: Yeah, but two’s enough not to look anxious.

Trent: Yeah, two’s enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you…

Mike: Yeah, but you know what, maybe I’ll wait 3 weeks. How’s that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.”

This pretty much tells you that this whole concept is outdated and nonsense.  Most people have mobile phones, social media accounts and emails so there’s no excuse for not getting in touch. You won’t appear busy, just rude!

A recent survey revealed that people aren’t paying attention to the 3 day rule anyway. In fact, the average waiting time was 1 and a half days.   I’d still advise that that’s too long to get back in contact. If you do have an interest in someone then you should make it clear early on.  If you don’t then you can bet someone else soon will and you’ll miss out.  Who knows what might happen over those three days?

Of course, you don’t want to text them the second you say goodbye, but a quick text on the way home saying you enjoyed yourself won’t do any harm.  At the very worst, get in touch the morning after.


Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Keeping Track of Dating

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Our Muslim event attract lots of great matches.

But how can you stay in touch afterwards?

Our Muslim speed dating parties are always very busy and we got lots of potential matches.   However, sometimes it’s a little difficult to remember quite who you spoke once it’s all finished.

That’s why we give everyone a notes sheet so you can make secret notes about the people you speed date.  Do use this as it really does make things much easier when you think about things the next morning.

Unlike some other companies, we don’t have a matching or tick box system at our speed dating events.

The reason for this is that we believe our guests should be able to contact everyone they wish to.  Therefore we make sure everyone can log on the website after an event and review the list of who they met.

To make this process easier and to ensure you get more messages, then we would strongly suggest you add a photograph to your profile.  This is a good rule regardless of whether you attend the events or not as photographs are the key to dating success.

One final tip:  We’ve noticed some men passing on their email to every single lady.  This does come across as bit too keen so we’d suggest you just contact them through the website.  It’s safer and you’ll get more chance of a response.  Of course, there is no harm in asking them there and then for their phone number.

Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

What are you waiting for?

Monday, October 17th, 2011

You meet a nice person and want to see them again.

So why play games and keep them waiting?

We often hear that you shouldn’t appear too keen if you like someone.  So there are supposed rules that we are supposed to stick to – such as not replying to a text for three days and pretending to be much busier that you really are. This is all wrong and bad advice!

Nobody wants to date someone who has no life and sits around watching TV each evening.  However, you shouldn’t have to pretend to be something you are not.  Busy is good as it shows you are interesting.  You shouldn’t have to fake this though.  If you don’t have much going on then it’s easy to change that.  Book up some of our singles parties or go and see a film or play.  It’ s not hard to have an active social life.

Remember this:  If you don’t show interest or politeness then there’s only one way the relationship is going to go – into the past.  They’ll give up on you or assume you just aren’t interested in dating them.  So there’s nothing to be gained by trying to seem distanced.

The key thing to remember is to treat other people in the same way that you would like to be treated.   If they text or email you try and reply as soon as you can.  As long as you don’t write long ranting messages then you will be seen as interested rather than rude.


Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Think outside the box

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Do you have a certain type you look to date?

Could that be ruining your dating chances?

Most people have a type or wish list about the person they want to end up with. For some, this could be to do with height, weight, age, location etc.  But by doing this you could be making things a lot harder for yourself.

Dating is all about chemistry and you can’t test that on a website.  The more matches you eliminate then the less there is in the dating pool.  Many things are not that crucial.

You might not agree, but if you are still single then you need to change your strategy.  Your wish list hasn’t worked for you so far so give something else a go.

The reality is that most people don’t end up marrying a person they would say is the perfect match.  Why?  Well once you start to get to know someone then the less important things stop being an issue.  You’ll get to like and love things about them that you would never have previously imagined.

So I suggest you try and think outside the box.   For one week only, contact people who you wouldn’t normally think would be a good match. Ignore any doubts you might have and make a friendly approach.   It’s all good practice.   You don’t necessarily have to meet up with them or contact completely unsuitable people, I’m just saying that you can widen your net and be more open.

Give some new people a chance and you’ll open up a whole world of possibilities.

Let me know how that works out for you.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Learn to Respect

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Muslim Dating has it’s own rules.

So you need to remember to respect them at all times.

The most important thing is to remember to be respectful.  With faith comes boundaries and strong moral codes. However,  some people overlook this and then wonder why they aren’t successful at dating!   Men tend to be more relaxed about these matters but women take them much more seriously.

Here are my top tips to help:

1) Be clear about your intentions.  If you aren’t ready to get married then don’t mislead someone into thinking you are. Likewise, it’s not usually acceptable for someone to be dating more than one person at a time.  It’s also not acceptable to live with someone without being married.

2) Be truthful from the start.  Don’t lie about your height, age, size etc. Instead, be judged on the person you are.  If you pretend to be something you are not then once you have been caught out you’ll never regain that trust.

3) Don’t push.  Never put pressure on someone to meet you or to do something they’d rather not. Respect their wishes.

4) Accept.  If someone doesn’t think you are a good match then let it go and realise that a better match will come along.

5) Consider.  Always treat another person in the same way you’d like to be treated.  Remember your manners and be polite and courteous at all times. If you have a good time or they spend money on you then thank them for it.  In fact, you should probably thank them for their time and effort even if you don’t want to meet again.

Happy dating!

James Preece  – The Dating Guru

Top Ten ways to talk to a woman

Monday, September 12th, 2011

I’ve had some requests from men this week


They’ve asked how to talk to women during speed dating.

We all know that women and men think very differently, so I’ve put together some top tips to help you find things to talk about.


1) Talk about family as women want a man who is close to them. It shows stability, loyalty and a kind nature.

2) If you’ve got a pet, children or nieces/nephews/god children then talk about them – women want to know that you’ll make a good possible father to their future kids.

3) Don’t bring up past relationships, but talk about the future instead. Keep discussions positive.

4) It’s important that you talk about what you are passionate about. By doing so you will naturally get enthusiastic and this will rub off on your date.

5) LISTEN to her own dreams and passions and show that you are interested in them too.

6) Don’t try and offer advice if she talks about a problem.  She doesn’t want a solution, just the chance to air her thoughts.

7) If you are looking for a serious relationship then now is the time to ask them if they want the same. If not, don’t waste any more time.

8 ) If you want to know what women like to talk about, just buy some female magazines.  Keep up with pop culture and showbiz gossip and you’ll never be stuck for words.

9) Men like to talk about facts and figures but this just bores women.  So instead, paint pictures with your words.

10)  Most importantly, show them you are interested by whatever they have to say.


Do you have your own thoughts on this?  Ladies, what would you like a man to talk about?  What should they avoid?

Happy dating!
James Preece – the Dating Guru

The best way to end a relationship

Monday, August 22nd, 2011

If a relationship isn’t working out, how do you end it?

Is it best to do it in person, by phone or by email?

You won’t fall in love with everyone that you date so sometimes you have to bite the bullet and end it.  It’s the fairest thing to do as you’ll be setting them free to meet someone more compatible.  In today’s modern age there are many ways you can end it using different technologies, but you shouldn’t always take the easiest way out for you.   Remember their feelings and the effect it will have on them.

I’ll tell you exactly what you should say in a future blog, but right now I will tell you the etiquette as to HOW to go about it.

Here’s my quick guide to the correct way that you should end it:

1)  You’ve not dated,  just emailed, texted, phone calls etc.
This is the easiest of all as you’ve not had enough time to really get to know each other.  Therefore it’s perfectly fine to end it however you wish.  This could be a text or a phone call.

2) You’ve only met once.

If you’d definitely decided that you don’t want to see them again then a text or email will do.    While I’d always suggest attempting a second date if there’s the slightest spark, I know the reality is that you won’t like everyone you meet.  So there’s no point meeting them again just to let them down.  The best way is a quick email or text the next day letting them down gently.

3) A short term relationship – 2 – 4 dates

This is where is starts to get complicated.   If things haven’t been intense, then a short email should be fine.  If the dates have been passionate then you really ought to give them a quick phone call.

4) A long term relationship – more than 4 dates

Any more than 4 dates means things are getting serious.  For this reason you absolutely HAVE to end it in person.  The only exception would be if there is a distance barrier.  Tell them you need to talk and stop any indication that you are interested in them.  By this I mean don’t put kisses on the end of emails or tell them you are missing them – otherwise it will complicate matters when they try to understand everything.

However you end it, it’s important that you DO let them know about it.  This might sound an odd thing to say, but many people think it’s better to just disappear and not reply to phone calls, emails, texts.  Treat the other person with respect and the same way you’d like to be treated.  Read my blog on the “Ghost Date” for more info on this!

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

P. s  What are your thoughts on how to end a relationship?

How to keep positive

Monday, August 8th, 2011

Staying positive isn’t as hard has you think

Today I’ m going to give you some great tips on this subject.

The power of self-talk is amazing.  If you tell yourself you can do something or tell yourself you can’t, then you are always going to be right.  So the secret is to only tell yourself positive things that will change things for the better.

To help, here are some of my favourite positive phrases.  If you want to feel happier, spend a few minutes each day saying them over and over to yourself.  The more you tell yourself these things then the more likely your brain will make them stick and adjust accordingly:

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”

“I choose to be kind to myself.”

“A dream written down with a date becomes a GOAL. A goal broken down into steps becomes a PLAN. A plan backed by ACTION makes your dream come true.”

“It’s better to invest time doing what pleases you, rather than to waste time trying to please everyone else.”

“Every advance in human life begins with an idea in the mind of a single person.”

“I am open to new possibilities.”

“Every great leap forward in life is preceded by a clear decision and a commitment to action.”

“I can figure it out”.

“It is possible, if I am willing to put in the time and effort”

“I make choices and decisions based
on my goals and dreams.”

You could even try to include some similar phrases in to your online dating profile.  They’ll make you come across as a happy, positive person so you’ll automatically get more interest.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Your voice and how to use it

Monday, July 25th, 2011

Do you know what your voice says about you?

Could it be ruining your dating chances?
We’ve talked about about how you need to make a great first impression and stand out from crowd. But no matter how hard you try, you could be messing everything up just by saying a few words.  If you speak too quickly, too quietly or come across as wimpy then you won’t get past a phone date, yet alone a face to face meeting.

Your voice is an incredibly valuable asset when it comes to dating, so make sure you know how to use it.

The trouble is that the voice you hear and the voice everyone else hears are completely different. This is due to the way your skull makes it resonate.  So if you’ve never done so, speak into a microphone and record yourself for a while. It might be a bit of a surprise and a weird experience, but with a bit of practice you can learn what sounds good and what doesn’t.

Who in the public eye do you think has a good voice?  Have a listen to them and copy the way they speak.  A great voice is one that is slow and clear. Above all it’s never dull so learn to energise and lift your voice so it sounds dynamic.

Remember, the more you practice then the better you’ll get


Good luck!


James Preece – The Dating Guru

What does your photo say about you?

Monday, July 18th, 2011

A picture paints a thousand words.

But what are people saying about YOUR photo?

We always tell you how important having a good photo is when it comes to online dating.  But there are still many people who think they know best.

We’ve seen all sorts of weird and wonderful photographs over the years and as the dating experts we knew what works and what doesn’t. Your photos is your calling card and advert that you use to market yourself. If you get it wrong it can be doing you more harm than good.

Please follow our guidelines –  no sunglasses, cars, hidden faces.  We also don’t allow group shots.  Online dating is all about you, so don’t draw attention to anyone else.

Some people like to show themselves with a drink in hand, to give the impression they are a fun, party person.  However, this can be interpreted as you having a drinking problem. Not a great asset on a Muslim dating site.

THE most important thing is to remember to smile.  If you look moody or aren’t looking at the camera then you won’t connect with the viewer.  If you look like a happy, positive person then you’ll get much more interest.
Of course, if you don’t event have a photograph then you are wasting your time anyway.  If you don’t put one on then nobody will find or contact you, yet alone reply to your emails, Instead they’ll just think you have something to hide.

So go and add some great photos now…just remember what they might be saying about you.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Are you using Online Dating Cliches?

Monday, July 11th, 2011

So many people write the same things in their profiles.

Read more to see if you are making the same mistakes.

We read 1000s of new profiles every week and it’s  amazing how many people keep writing the same boring things.  So today I’m going to tell you some of the most common so you can avoid doing the same thing.  Here are 5 of the top Online Dating Cliches that we see.

1) “I’m not sure what I’m doing on an online dating site.”  This just makes you sound arrogant. By writing this you are suggesting that you are far too good to be on the site and what a hardship it is.  As well as this you are insulting every other member on there too!

2) “My friends say…”    Or “my friends” tell me this or that.   So what?  It’s really not important what they say, but rather who you are and how you treat others.

3) “My friends and family are important to me.”  Isn’t this really just stating the obvious? Friends and family are important to everyone.  It would be much more worrying and abnormal if they weren’t!

4) “No time wasters/ players/ etc”     This gives the impression that you’ve had some bad experiences in the past and are therefore judging all people before you’ve given them a chance. It’s doubtful that anyone would ever admit to being a time waster anyway.

5) “I’m open minded”   While most people write this with the intention that they have no expectations when it comes to dating, the reality is that it comes across as if you looking for a casual relationship.


All it takes is a little imagination and you’ll have an exciting, interesting profile that will help you stand out from the crowd.

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Has 2011 brought you many dates?

Monday, July 4th, 2011

We’re already halfway through the year.

So how many dates have you had so far?

Many people decide at the start of a new year to make a plan to sort out their love lives at last.   Unfortunately,life always seems to get in the way and they never get time to actually meet anyone.  So they feel disheartened and don’t feel like there’s any point in trying.

This is the wrong attitude!

It’s never too late to make a change. The secret to making things happen is just to take action. Work out exactly what you want and then take a small action towards it every day.

You don’t need to do much, perhaps just sign up to our Muslim online dating site and send a few emails each day. Or book one of our brilliant Muslim speed dating events that we run on a regular basis.  Once you start putting some effort in you’ll soon begin to see big differences.  By getting yourself out there, you are making new connections which will hopefully lead to dates and possibly more.

Please don’t keep putting your dating success on hold. You don’t want to be in the same position in six months time do you?

If you’ve been proactive and have had lots of dates so far then well done!  Keep going…..the next one could be THE one!

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

What do Muslim Singles want?

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

Last week I told you to make a list of what you want.

But you also need to consider what THEY want to!

You’ve got your own list of dealbreakers, but so has everyone else.  So there’s no point emailling a 20 year Muslim girl if you are 48 or a Muslim man living in Scotland if you are in London.   It’s so important that you consider what they are looking for as much as you what you are after.

Otherwise you’ll either get no replies or a lot of “thanks but you aren’t my type” emails.  That’s no use to anyone so save yourself the unecessary rejection.

We’ve found that religious practice and “relationship seriousness” are the most important factors when it comes to Muslim dating.   So if you want casual fun then don’t waste the time of someone looking to get married.  It’s just not fair and it’s disrespectful.  One of the common complaints we get is that fun focussed members are contacting others who want to settle down.

Please keep this mind and only contact suitable matches.  There’s someone for everyone on the site so spend a little targetting the right people and you’ll have a much more rewarding experience.



Good luck,


James Preece – The Dating Guru

You CAN have what you want

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

So many people settle when it comes to dating.

This sadly means that many relationships don’t last.

Sometimes people will date someone even if they aren’t completely happy, in the hope that they might be able to change them.

For example, they might date a smoker even though they are anti-smoking.  Or perhaps someone who parties too much or exercises too little.

Unfortunately, it’s a bit like trying to fill a watering can that has a big hole in it.  You’ll never change them to how you want them to be and even if you do they’ll end up resenting you for it.

Of course, nobody is perfect and you should always give people a chance if you feel there is any sort of chemistry there.  I’m just saying that you shouldn’t sacrifice what’s important to you just because you feel you need to be in a relationship.

The truth is that you can meet an amazing partner as long as you realise you deserve it. You don’t need to settle for second best.

Work on your self esteem and surround yourself with positive, upbeat people.  As soon as you get in the right frame of mind you’ll being attracting the sort of partner who meets more of your key requirements.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to get someone to open up

Monday, May 16th, 2011

It can often be hard to date a shy person.

So today I’ll teach you how to get them to relax.

Most of us are a little guarded when it comes to dating and shyness is extremely common.  It can be difficult on a date if someone finds it hard to relax and open up.  But ther’ s a fantastic way that you put them at ease quickly.

It’s a simple trick but once you’ve learnt it you’ll find it works really well.

All you need to do is to get someone to talk about what makes them feel good and what they are passionate about.  When you see their eyes comes to life and you know you’ve hit a strong positive emotion, you just need to tap then discretely on the arm.  Do it every now and again but not so much they spot what you are doing.  Keep the touch in exactly the place.  This is a technique called “anchoring” as it allows them to store the memory. Now all you need to do it tap them on the same spot later in the evening and they’ll subconsciously feel the same great feeling again.

Try and see what happens.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Following Up

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011


So you met someone speed dating at a party.

What’s the best to follow up and see them again?

This is a common dilemma so I’m going to teach you how to go about this in the best way.

After attending an event you’ll be able to log on to the website and email the guests you liked for free. There’s no “matching” or cards to fill in as we believe it’s better to give everyone the opportunity to email anyone they like. The most important thing is not to leave it too long to contact them.   Obviously you don’t want to get in touch seconds after leaving the venue, but don’t play it too cool.

Don’t forget they would have met lots of other great possible matches so if you wait too long you’ll miss out.  Chances are there will be more than one person you are interested in, so the same will probably go for them.  Therefore, you want to make sure that you are first person they meet up for a date.   Otherwise they might decide to focus on someone else and put you on the back burner.   People do tend to get their hopes and expectations up after just one meeting, so they won’t want to risk it by seeing others at that point.

The very best time to get in touch is around early lunchtime the next day.  No sooner, no later.  Most people will be able to use email during a lunch hour so they can log in and reply to you then.  Don’t write anything too heavy, so just say you really enjoyed meeting them and would love to do it again soon and find out more about them.

One final tip –  if you really liked them during your speed date then talk to them again at the end of the event.  If there’s time, you could always suggest you head off somewhere else to grab something to eat.  You’ll have an instant date and will more time to get to know each other.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Confidence Secrets

Monday, April 4th, 2011

Confidence is the secret of dating.

It helps you get the things you really want in life.

So here are some of my quick tips to help you get more of it.

1) Get rid of negative thoughts.  We’ve all got a little nagging voice inside our head that makes us doubt our own abilities.  So drown it out with positive statements and intentions instead.

2) Body Language.  If you slouch and frown you’ll naturally feel bad too. If you stand up straight and smile you’ll instantly feel happier and more confident.  Once you start acting like a confidence person, you won’t be able to stop being one.

3) Be happy with yourself.  It’s only when you learn to be comfortable in your own skin that you’ll attract someone else.  So be proud of who you are and do your best to make the most of what you have to offer.

4) Show an interest in others.  People like people who like them – so listen carefully to what they are saying and ask questions.

5) You control your feelings.  You don’t need to feel angry, upset, shy or nervous if you don’t want to be.  Just make a decision that you won’t dwell on them.

Practise these tips and you’ll soon be feeling much more confident.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Three quick speed dating tips

Monday, March 28th, 2011

We run regular Muslim speed dating parties in great venues.

But we’ve noticed a few mistakes people sometimes make.
So in today’s blog I’ll tell you about them so you can avoiding making them too, helping you get dating success.

1)Arrive Early.   If you arrive early you’ll be able to watch everyone else come in.   It’s a great idea to allow yourself plenty of time to get settled in, so grab yourself a drink and relax.  There’s also the added bonus that the event will be able to start on time!

2) Keep smiling.     Yes, we know you are a little nervous if you’ve not been before.   That’s quite understandable….but do remember that other people will be watching you from the second you walk through the door.  Some people look miserable and scared and this instantly can create the wrong impression.    I’d suggest that once you’ve located the venue, take some deep breaths before you approach and smile warmly.   Greet the organisers in a friendly manner and look like you’ve confident, happy and engaging.  The rest of the room will pick up on it.

3) Dress to Impress.   Most people do make the effort and wear smart shoes, suits, skirts etc.  However, every now and again we see someone in trainers, t-shirt or looking generally a little scruffy.  While it’s important to be comfortable,  you’ll be judged on how you are dressed.  So make an effort and you’ll maximise your chances.   You’ll also feel more confident and command more respect and attention.

Happy dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

A Formula for Dating Success ?

Saturday, March 19th, 2011

When you write your Online Dating Profile, how much time do you spend?



Would you like to know the formula to getting lots of interest?


Studies show that men tend to look for someone they find physically attractive, sporty and understanding while women want someone understanding, funny and in touch with their emotions.

The big question, is do you write about you or write about the person you are looking for? Professor Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire carried out a study at the Edinburgh International Science Festival to help answer this question. He asked 40 men and 40 women to write 25-word personal ads – then got another set of volunteers to circle the ones that appealed.

The results showed a “golden formula” that you should stick to when writing a profile. You should spend 70 per cent of the profile describing you and 30 per cent describing what you are looking for. If you spend more than 70% of the profile talking about yourself then you might appear to be egotistical. Likewise, you may give you the impression you are trying to hid something if you don’t write enough about yourself.

In the studies, the ads that were closest to the 70:30 rule were the ones that had clearly the largest number of replies.

Interestingly, Wiseman used a separate panel of volunteers to predict which ads they thought would get the most responses. There was a huge and evident gender difference. The male volunteers were extremely good at predicting which ads would have the most success while the women completely failed.

Wiseman concluded that women should perhaps get a man to look over their dating profile to get the best results.


James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to message someone and get a reply

Monday, March 14th, 2011

We’d like to help you get more replies to your messages.

So today I’m giving you the most common things people get wrong.

We see people doing this every single day and it’s just a complete waste of your time.  If you take a few minutes longer to do it properly you’ll see a huge increase in the amount of people who write back to you.

Please don’t ignore this and think you know best.   We’re the experts when it comes to this!


1) Don’t use text speak.  Check your spelling before you send out a message.  You don’t want the recipient to have to run it through a dictionary.  You are a professional, not a 12 year old.

2)  Always write proper, personalised messages.  If they feel you’ve made an effort they’ll be much more likely to reply.  So tell them why you liked their profile and why you’d be a good match.  Talk about their personality rather than looks as that can get boring.

3) Don’t copy and paste.  This is so obvious and most people can see you’ve done it, making sure the message gets deleted immediately.    If you do this then our system will automatically suspend your account so we can check you are a real person.

4) Send a credit. This means that they can open and reply to it, even if they aren’t paying members.  So it’s the best way to guarantee your chances of a reply.

5) Have a great photo and profile.    People want to know who they are dealing with.  If these aren’t up to scratch they won’t either bother reading your message.

Good luck!


Jams Preece – The Dating Guru

Online Dating – making a good impression

Monday, February 28th, 2011

It’s easy to have great success with online dating.


But it does need some effort to get things started.
So many people join an online dating site, such as, add a few words and then sit back and do nothing more.  Then they wonder why they aren’t getting any interest or any replies to the odd message the send out.

I’d like you to imagine you were looking for a job.  Would you scribble a short CV down on a bit of old newspaper?  Would you not be bothered to send a cover note with it and then post it off to absolutely every job you liked the look of, whether you are qualified for it or not?  What’s more, would you forget to put a stamp on the envelope so you wouldn’t even guarantee it got delivered?

This might sound mad, but it’s exactly how many people treat online dating.   They’ll not bother with a photo, write a poor profile, send out hundreds of copy and pasted messages to members and forget to send a reply paid credit.

The secret is to think of how the other person is seeing you.  You want to make the right first impression from the very start.  So spend a little time crafting a fantastic profile and adding some great photos.  Thay way you’ll stand out from the crowd and are more likely to get dates.  Then send out carefully written emails to people you think might be a match.  This is your “cover letter” and if you don’t do it properly it will just get deleted.   Tell them what you have in common and why you might be a good match.

Finally, use the  reply paid credit system and they will be able to read and reply to your message even if they haven’t yet upgraded.

A little bit of effort can really go a long way, so put some time in now and you’ll reap the rewards.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Why you need to add a photo

Monday, February 14th, 2011

This is the number one rule of online dating but it’s so often forgotten.


If you want to get online dating success – you need a great photo.

If you don’t have one you are just wasting your time.  Most people won’t even find your profile, yet alone read it if they can’t see what you look like.  Think of a photo as the equivalent of putting a stamp on a letter.  If you don’t add one it will never get read.    It’s common sense – wouldn’t YOU rather see who you are talking to?

Profiles with photos get over 7 times as many views and they are the best way to advertise yourself.  It’s the photo that will get people to either click on your profile or click to the next page.

If you don’t have a good one then get a friend to use a camera phone to take one for you.  Most phones are capable of producing images of a very high resolution so they’ll look just as good as a regular camera.

It’s pointless to try and use one that doesn’t look like you, is years out of date or hides part of your face.  That’s why we don’t allow shots with sunglasses in them. There’s really no point in masking your face or it rings alarm bells.

The secret of a good photo is  a clear,  happy photo.  No group shots, props or photos taken from two miles away.
If you don’t have a photo – why not? Some people complain that they don’t want to be recognised.  But why not?  This is just an excuse. After all, if anyone you know sees you it means they have their own account on the site anyway!  Most single people try online dating nowadays so it’s hardly a deep dark secret!
Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Take a Little Risk

Monday, February 7th, 2011

Everyone has a certain type of person they are attracted to.

But just looking for people who match this criteria is a bad idea.

If you keep going for the same sort of person then you might end up getting bored and things not working out.  If you keep meeting the same types then you’ll get stuck in a dating rut and grow tired much too quickly.

It’s not just height, hair colour and age that people are strict about, but everyday jobs and lifestyles too. Just because you are into certain hobbies and activities doesn’t mean your date has to.  You’ll learn so many more things if you are willing to accept that there are things you might enjoy that you’ve not yet tried.

If you expand your horizons, just a little bit then you are giving yourself more dating opportunities.  I’m not suggesting you search for a complete opposite ( but that might be fun!) but just be aware that the more people you date then the more chance you have of making it last.  Opposites do often attract but it helps to have a rough idea of who you do and don’t want to meet.

Start now by taking a few risks outside your comfort zone.  You might just enjoy it!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Quick dating trick

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

In today’s blog I’m going to show you a great trick.


This will allow you to bond with a stranger very quickly.

It’s very simple, use the word  “We” every now and again when you are chatting.

It’s easy to drop this into the coversation.  Just say something along the lines of “We ought to try that restaurant” or ” We can go over there and look at that painting.”

What you’re doing is re framing their mind to confuse the present with the future which will help you to bond very quick.

Similar words, such as “Us ” and “Our” also work very well too.

You can throw in lines such as  “I hope they look after us tonight” or  “Our tops are the same colour.”

Use this tip sparingly as you’ll look a bit crazy if you do it too much!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

What’s so special about you?

Monday, January 24th, 2011

Who do you think you are?


What makes you stand out from the next person?  What do you have to offer that makes you different?
If you aren’t sure, how can you expect anyone else to?  Dating can be a competitive thing.

Everyone has their own unique gifts and selling points.  Perhaps you can play the piano, speak Russian, have trekked to the North Pole.  Maybe you are a fantastic cook, have eleven toes or have published a book.   Just think about every little thing you’ve ever done. Every action and reaction has shaped you into a person like no other.  You are special…

So I want you to just take a few moments to think about more about who you are.   When you’ve realised your “Unique Selling Points” then mention them in your online dating profile.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to make it work

Monday, January 17th, 2011

Are you wondering if you’ll ever meet Mr or Ms Right?


Do you really want to meet someone nice and settle down, like your family and friends?

Ask yourself this – what steps are you taking to make this happen?

To be successful at dating, you need to start with a plan.  If you don’t take any action then you will never anything.

So here’s my quick dating plan that you can easily follow.  It’s five simple steps that will get you on the way to dating success.

1 )  Make sure you work on putting together a well written profile.  Talk about who you are and what you are looking for.

2) Add a really good photo.  This is the key to getting people looking at your profile.  Without one you would just be wasting your time.

3) Upgrade.  If you want to take dating seriously you need to pay for a membership.  It’s only then that you will be able to contact other quality professional Muslims.

4) Send out lots of personalised messages to people you like the look of.   Tell them what you like about their profile and why they should get to know you. Important:  use a spell checker

5) Start dating!
It’s really that simple.  Perhaps you’ve already completed some of these steps, so it’s just a case of carrying out the rest of them.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Dating Tip – The Perfect Match

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

Here’s some useful time saving online dating advice.


Hopefully it will increase your chances.

This tip is simple – make sure you read the other person’s profile carefully before you contact them.   If they clearly are only looking for someone completely different from you then there’s no point wasting both your time messaging them.

So if they are looking for a marriage partner and you want something less serious then respect this and don’t contact them.  The same goes on non-negotiable criteria such as religious sect, age or location.   It’s a bit like a job application.   You don’t send out your CV to jobs you are completely unsuitable for just because you like the sound of them.

Of course, there can be exceptions every now and again, but they must be small ones.   An extra year over their specified range might be OK or an inch under in height.  Just make sure you make more of an effort into writing a great profile and message.   After all, the best profiles will always get better matches anyway!

The point to remember is to target your messages to people that might genuinely be interested in you.  Rather than sending out 100 messages to just anyone, it’s  a much better idea to send 30 to those who are a good match.

Finally, always send messages reply paid (with a credit) to maximise the chance of them replying.   If they aren’ t a full member on the site they can’t read or reply to messages unless you send a credit.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to write an amazing online dating profile

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

Here’s our advice on writing the perfect dating profile


So many people get this wrong, but follow my advice to get amazing results!

I’m going to break the perfect dating profile into four easy bitesize steps.

Part 1:  The Intro

Firstly- you need to explain who you are and what has brought you to the site.  This is your opportunity to ignire their imagination and get their full attention.  You don’t want to bored them or they’ll move on the next person.   Keep it straight to the point – it’s not a life story but a snippet about you.

Part 2:  Tell them about yourself

The next phase of your profile  is where you get to sell yourself with your own “advert” .  Write about what you like doing, what you have to offer and why people should be interested in dating you.  What makes you stand out from all everyone else on the dating site?

Part 3:  Write about the person you want to meet

What do you want in a partner?  What’s vital to you? Don’t go on about all the things you don’t want.  A negative personality is never attractive!

Part 4:  Ask them to get in touch

This is often overlooked but it’s  perhaps the most important of all the sections.   You are inviting them to get in touch, so give them a reason.  Ask a question or invite them to suggest something.  Don’t be tempted to say “Get in touch” or “Drop me an email” as that’s not enough.

One final tip for you.   Don’t be tempted to write too much. People have busy lives and want to be able to get a quick idea of what you are like and who you are.   You can save in depth debates and three page anecdotes for when you meet!  It should be long enough to hook them in, but short enough to intrigue them.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to meet new people

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

How many new people have you met today?  This week?  This month?


If you’ve answered with a low number, you are probably not looking hard enough!

Whenever you go out you have the opportunity to talk to other singles – whether it’s on your way to work, your lunch break or just waling down the street.

Here are some opportunities you might be missing with some advice on how to make them work for you.

1) Bookshop.   A great place to meet, although you might need to think quickly!  The best way to approach someone you want to talk to is to take note of what they are reading.  Find a similar book, stand near them and ask if they’ve read it.   Tell them you are new to whatever subject it is and would like to learn about.   It doesn’t matter what – cooking, goldfish or synchronised swimming.  It’s the very fact you appear to have a mutual interest that will help you both bond.

2) Shopping Mall.   This is my personal favourite.  Go into any shop with the idea that you have to buy a present for someone of the opposite sex – perhaps your mother, neighbour or favorite Uncle.  Walk up to someone that catches their eye and their opinion.  People LOVE to be asked what they think !

3) Outside. Where do single people hang out at lunchtime when they don’t have anywhere else to go?  That’s right, the park!  Take a packed lunch and enjoy the sunshine. If noting more, it’s a great chance to people watch.

4) Train Station, Bus stop or even Airport.   Nobody likes waiting for public transport and it can be incredibly dull.  All you have to do is walk up to someone you fancy and ask if they’ve been waiting long – instant conversation starter!

5) Book to see a talk or sign up for evening classes.  Many people go to these on their own and there are plenty of chances to chat before, during and afterwards.  You can find information about these in Metro or your local free newspaper.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Never give up!

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

Do you find dating hard?  Not having the success you want?


In today’s blog I’m going to motivate you to keep at it!

A lot of people seem to give up far too easily and quickly when it comes to dating.  Maybe they will join an online dating site, send out some messages and then get disappointed when they don’t get lots of replies.  Or perhaps they’ll go to a singles party but not find anyone they like there.

Rather than keep at it, they’ll think “Well I’ve tried that and it didn’t work.  Now I can cross that off my list.”

We know that it can sometimes seem exhausting if you don’t get get instant results but dating is a trial and error process and the more you do then the better you’ll get at it

Yes, you will probably make mistakes to begin with but you will learn from them.

You need to keep in mind that these things really do work!  Every day we get success stories sent to us from people who struck lucky.  The secret is to keep at it – like most things in life you get out of it what you put into it.  Otherwise it’s like joining a gym, going twice and then quitting because you weren’t miraculously fit and muscular.  These things can take time.

One person said to me recently that they’ve calculated they would have to send out 100 messages to get 10 replies back which would lead to one or two dates.  They just didn’t have time to be sending out so many messages each week.

My reply to him was that he was thinking about the negative side of things rather than the reality.  What if one of the first people he met up with turned out to be his Miss Right?   He’d then be able to stop messaging people.  Therefore, he should spend more time making sure he has the best profile, photos and messages possible right from the start.  He can then be sure he’s equipping himself with the best tools for the job.

The more work you put in at the start, then the quicker you’ll see the results!

If you ever find yourself tempted to give up then get a friend to help you.  Ask them to send out some messages with you or attend events with you.  That way you’ll get a whole new perspective on things.

Finally, we are here to help if you ever need motivation. All you need to do is ask.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Making a great first impression

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

Here’s how to make a great first impression


If you’d like to  make a long lasting  first impression, stand out from the crowd, build rapport instantly and impress people then there is one major thing you need to do above everything else. ….


Yes, this is a very very obvious tip but it’s also one that many people sadly overlook.  It’s the golden rule for flirting but we it’s amazing that a tiny number of people come to our events and don’t smile.  Even when we greet them on arrival, they look miserable and won’t even respond to  our hellos.  Instead, they’ll hide in the corner looking moody and this makes it very difficult for people to then go up to them.  I know that this might be because they are shy, but you really don’t need to be.  You just have to move out of your comfort zone and appreciate that everyone else is in the same situation. Remember our hosts are always there to help you.

If you are nervous then it’s easy to fake a smile. Think of something that makes you laugh or picture a happy memory. A warm smile will make you seem friendly and confident and instantly puts everyone at ease.  Think these happy thoughts before you enter the venue and you’ll feel so much better.

Just don’t go overboard of you’ll end up looking a little bit silly!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Your frequently asked questions

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

Here are the answers to some of our most frequently asked questions


1)  How many successes do you get on your Muslim site?

We have had many Muslim success stories through our AsianSinglesolution site so we know this will increase on the Muslim site.  We find that people who are the right calibre and proactive will soon meet someone. Always remember to keep positive, realistic and make sure you are the best “you” possible.

2) I want to just pay to send one message at a time – can I do that?

Unfortunately not. ! This is a bit like going into a supermarket and trying to buy a slice of bread, rather than a loaf . It costs a lot of money to develop and run the site and as such we have to charge for it. If we allowed people to buy just one credit or reply to one message then it would simply have to cost about the same as a one month membership. The second reason is that we absolutely want you to have dating success. This means you needs to take control and message a lot of people. The more effort you put into it then the more results you will have.

3)  Can I attend  your younger parties?  Everyone tells me I don’t look my age!

We probably get asked this question once a day.

It’s strange how everyone tells us how “people think they are ten years younger.” What they are forgetting is that this isn’t the point. It’s irrelevant how you look – our members are paying to meet people in the correct age categories.

We just enforce age limits in place for the good of everyone. Guests need to be within a certain age range to make sure they only meet suitable people.

Having said that, we can sometimes be a little flexible on age limits. If the average age of the guests if higher than normal then we might be able to let a few people in.

4) Why are male and female prices different?

Generally speaking they aren’t – the prices are the same. It’s just that the earlier you book then the cheaper the tickets. As women buy earlier than men then tickets go up in price quicker so it just appears.

However, for some events it’s supply and demand and we have to take action to ensure even ratios. It’s always worth remembering that we always charge more for last minute tickets if they are available so booking early is always the best police.

5) Why aren’t I getting many messages?

This is one of our most popular questions.   You need to contact people, not the other way around!

Not proactively sending 5 to 10 new messages per week is similar to signing up for a gym, not going and then wondering why you aren’t getting fit. Even members who get lots of emails still need to be proactive to target the people they want, rather than the members who tend to send out lots of messages.

We have loads of new members joining each month, so you should easily find 10 to 20 people you like, to message/wink/add to favourites each month. Oh and have some great photos and log in regularly too to boost your chances.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Ten biggest turn offs in Muslim dating

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

What are your biggest Dating Turn offs?


I’m the UK’s top Dating Guru,  and people always tell me their biggest dating turn offs.  These can be tiny things, but some come up over and over again.  It’s time for you to read and learn in case you are making the same mistakes!

1) Bad Body Odour and personal hygiene. This usually tops most people’s list of turn offs. It goes without saying that you should take a shower, shave  and smell nice if you want to attract other people.

2) Smoking. This is not just extremely anti-social but it gives you terrible breath and shows you don’t take your health seriously.  Funnily enough, it seems that even smokers don’t want to date other smokers!

3) Avoiding direct eye contact. Always remember that eye contact is crucial so don’t stare at the floor. If you look nervous then it just gives the impression that you have something to hide.

4) Assuming the world revolves around you. You really don’t need to talk endlessly about yourself or stare at the mirror the whole time. Focus on the person you are dating and make them feel like the centre of your universe.

5) Being Negative.  There’s really nothing worse than being a “victim” and talking about all your problems on a date. It’s just not attractive! Instead, try and see the positive side of everything and remember to laugh and smile often.

6) Being a cheapskate. We say this time and time again but men should always pay the bill on the first date but the woman should at least offer. If you are stingy with money then you are probably stingy with your time and affection too.

7) Not having a photo on your online dating profile. This is major error that many people seem to make. If you don’t have a photo or demand to see one before sending out yours, then it shows insecurity and the strong possibility that you have something to hide. Even worse are photos with sunglasses or hats. Why would you wear the hat if you had a lovely head of hair?

8) Being too keen.  There’s nothing wrong with showing that you are serious about dating but don’t take things to far or too fast.  You don’t need to make plans for the next five weekends on your first date.  Take a little time to get to know each other slowly. Give yourselves time to miss each other.

9) Not making it clear when you aren’t interested. Some people think they are being kind by not directly rejecting someone. Instead they just ignore calls, emails and texts and cut off all contact. The trouble with this is that nobody gets any closure and it just stretches it out. If you have to, be polite and honest rather than give them hope. It’s kinder in the long run!

10) Trying to change them. It can sometimes be easy to overlook the flaws in a relationship. Instead, you think that you will be able to sort them out and get them to work on the things you don’t like. Wrong! Focus on the things you do like about them. Everyone has flaws and they just make is human. If you were both perfect life could be very boring indeed.

I’d love to hear about your own dating turn offs. Add a comment on this blog !

James Preece – The Dating Guru

The truth about Online Dating

Saturday, January 30th, 2010

If you mention online dating everyone has an opinion, mostly outdated


So what is the truth?  Does it really work?

1) Aren’t they just weirdos?

Over 50% of singles have tried online dating, so you can’t class that many as “weird”! Yes, as with any large mix of people there will be a few oddballs, but overall most online daters are busy professionals who just don’t have time to meet people in bars and clubs. Anyone that gives online dating a go is obviously a little adventurous .

2) I can’t put my photo up –  what if someone I know sees it?

In order to see your photo, they would have to be on the website themselves. Most people don’t have an issue putting their photo on social media sites like Facebook, so why would you be worried about a private members site? A profile without a photo is a bit like sending out a CV without any jobs listed on it – pointless!

3) What if I get stuck on a date with someone I can’t stand?

This is the reason why I suggest you never arrange a drinks or dinner date. Instead, say you are busy and just meet for an hour for coffee. If you don’t get on, you can leave. If you hit it off, you can always meet again or “cancel” your other plans!

4) Doesn’t everyone lie on their profile?

I’ m not going to deny that white lies are common – after all the intention is to present the very best possible version of “you” However, bigger fibs are rare as they are instantly obvious once you do meet. There’s no point saying you are 6ft2 if you are really 5ft 5 as you won’t get away with. Therefore nobody would dare to pretend they are.

5)  Isn’t online dating expensive?

What would you pay for a gym membership or a night out? Most online dating sites work out more expensive if you only sign up for one month, but almost all sites can work out much cheaper if you do it over the long term. You really do get what you pay for and you are paying for the security, quality and anonymity they site offers.

So don’t delay, get started now!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Rules for a Great Date

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

Do you want to have amazing dates?

Here are some great tips for you.

If you are seeking a marriage partner then learning to date is very important.  Here are some helpful tips :

1) Be kind and considerate. Observe good manners and treat your date as you’d wish to be treated yourself.

2) Be generous. For the best outcome, men should always offer to pay but women should not take advantage of this and over the period of several dates then the women should take their turn.

3) Take an interest, make sure you a good listener. People love it when you pay attention to them and they’ll instinctively like you a lot more.

4) Use Body Language to your advantage– be friendly, smile and pay attention to the signals they are giving off too.

5) Be honest about your intentions and don’t play games. Follow up afterwards, even if you aren’t interested.

6) Do something around an activity, so the focus isn’t just on you. Make sure it’s something where you can both still talk and get to know each other.

7) Dress up, take pride in your appearance. Brush your hair, floss your teeth and make sure you smell nice. Remember you want to present the best version of yourself possible so do make the effort.

8 ) Have several talking points pre-prepared. This will make you seem interesting and helps fill any awkward silences

10) Pay a compliment or too to your date, but don’t go overboard.

Good luck!

James Preece   – The Dating Guru