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Archive for May, 2013

How to mess up a first date

Friday, May 31st, 2013

Has this weird thing

ever happened to you?

I’ve had a lot of emails about my blog post on how to avoid dating mistakes. A lot of people have told me about other very strange things people have said to them but there’s one thing that crops up scarily often.   I’ve heard this so many times that I wanted to share it with you.  If it’s happened to you too then let me know!

It’s what I call the “empty wallet” story…
To summarise, it goes like this.  The man invites the lady out on a date – perhaps  for a meal.  They get on well and at the end of the evening the bill arrives.  The man goes to open his wallet only to be stunned that he’s somehow left all his money ( and credit cards!) behind.

“Oh dear,” he says, ” I seem to have come out without any cash.  Would you mind paying now and I’ll get it next time?”

As if there would even be a next time. I’ve even heard a version of this where the man has ordered the most expensive items from the menu and the lady has just had salad and  a mineral water.  Another lady did foolishly agree to cough up and arranged another restaurant date only for him to try exactly the same trick again!

Men, this is absolutely not cool or funny.  This can’t be an accident and nobody goes out without any money.  Your main job on a date is to make the best first impression you possibly can.  If you refuse to pay then it makes you look mean, tight fisted and downright rude.   On top of this it will make you look incredibly stupid and you’ll undo any good work you might have made during the date.

So the bottom line is bring enough money to cover the date and act like a gentleman.

Of course it’s not just men who do this.  Many women expect the men to pay and will “forget” to bring money with them as a test.  Again, this is wrong. While the man should generally always pay on the first date, the woman should at least offer.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to talk to a shy person

Sunday, May 26th, 2013

Sometimes you’ll meet a shy person

when you are taking part in speed dating


This can sometimes be quite difficult, especially if you find they aren’t answering or asking your questions.  Most people are a little shy at heart but some of us are better at hiding it than others.  To problem with this is that it can make them seem like they are arrogant or full of themselves.

Here are a few quick tips that might help makes things a little easier:


1)  Speak softly.  A shy person won’t be too loud, so match their vocal tone and pace.

2)  Smile.    The best way to break through is build trust and the quickest way to do this is with a smile.

3)  Listen carefully.  If they think that you are truly interested in what they have to say then they’ll respond much more positively towards you.  So do ask lots of questions and find out what they are passionate about.

4)  Be patient.  Don’t rush them or act annoyed if they don’t want to do things at your pace.   They may take time to open up but it could well be worth waiting for.

5)  Don’t joke.   Don’t make inappropriate comments or say anything that might make them feel uncomfortable.  Be serious but stay friendly.


Just because they might be shy doesn’t mean they aren’t your Mr or Miss Right.  They came to the event for a reason so they are genuine in their intentions and respect that it might have been very difficult for them. Give them a chance!


Happy dating!

James Preece – the Dating Guru