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Archive for October, 2011

The Three Day Rule?

Monday, October 31st, 2011

We’ve all heard of the 3 day dating rule.

But is this really effective?

The three day rule is where you wait three days to call someone after you first get your number.  The idea behind it is that you don’t want to appear too keen and should give them a chance to think about the possibility you aren’t interested.

Funnily enough, the three day rule was created by a film called “Swingers” and has been embedded in people’s minds ever since:

“Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it’s like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?

Sue: Yeah, but two’s enough not to look anxious.

Trent: Yeah, two’s enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you…

Mike: Yeah, but you know what, maybe I’ll wait 3 weeks. How’s that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.”

This pretty much tells you that this whole concept is outdated and nonsense.  Most people have mobile phones, social media accounts and emails so there’s no excuse for not getting in touch. You won’t appear busy, just rude!

A recent survey revealed that people aren’t paying attention to the 3 day rule anyway. In fact, the average waiting time was 1 and a half days.   I’d still advise that that’s too long to get back in contact. If you do have an interest in someone then you should make it clear early on.  If you don’t then you can bet someone else soon will and you’ll miss out.  Who knows what might happen over those three days?

Of course, you don’t want to text them the second you say goodbye, but a quick text on the way home saying you enjoyed yourself won’t do any harm.  At the very worst, get in touch the morning after.


Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Keeping Track of Dating

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Our Muslim event attract lots of great matches.

But how can you stay in touch afterwards?

Our Muslim speed dating parties are always very busy and we got lots of potential matches.   However, sometimes it’s a little difficult to remember quite who you spoke once it’s all finished.

That’s why we give everyone a notes sheet so you can make secret notes about the people you speed date.  Do use this as it really does make things much easier when you think about things the next morning.

Unlike some other companies, we don’t have a matching or tick box system at our speed dating events.

The reason for this is that we believe our guests should be able to contact everyone they wish to.  Therefore we make sure everyone can log on the website after an event and review the list of who they met.

To make this process easier and to ensure you get more messages, then we would strongly suggest you add a photograph to your profile.  This is a good rule regardless of whether you attend the events or not as photographs are the key to dating success.

One final tip:  We’ve noticed some men passing on their email to every single lady.  This does come across as bit too keen so we’d suggest you just contact them through the website.  It’s safer and you’ll get more chance of a response.  Of course, there is no harm in asking them there and then for their phone number.

Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

What are you waiting for?

Monday, October 17th, 2011

You meet a nice person and want to see them again.

So why play games and keep them waiting?

We often hear that you shouldn’t appear too keen if you like someone.  So there are supposed rules that we are supposed to stick to – such as not replying to a text for three days and pretending to be much busier that you really are. This is all wrong and bad advice!

Nobody wants to date someone who has no life and sits around watching TV each evening.  However, you shouldn’t have to pretend to be something you are not.  Busy is good as it shows you are interesting.  You shouldn’t have to fake this though.  If you don’t have much going on then it’s easy to change that.  Book up some of our singles parties or go and see a film or play.  It’ s not hard to have an active social life.

Remember this:  If you don’t show interest or politeness then there’s only one way the relationship is going to go – into the past.  They’ll give up on you or assume you just aren’t interested in dating them.  So there’s nothing to be gained by trying to seem distanced.

The key thing to remember is to treat other people in the same way that you would like to be treated.   If they text or email you try and reply as soon as you can.  As long as you don’t write long ranting messages then you will be seen as interested rather than rude.


Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Think outside the box

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Do you have a certain type you look to date?

Could that be ruining your dating chances?

Most people have a type or wish list about the person they want to end up with. For some, this could be to do with height, weight, age, location etc.  But by doing this you could be making things a lot harder for yourself.

Dating is all about chemistry and you can’t test that on a website.  The more matches you eliminate then the less there is in the dating pool.  Many things are not that crucial.

You might not agree, but if you are still single then you need to change your strategy.  Your wish list hasn’t worked for you so far so give something else a go.

The reality is that most people don’t end up marrying a person they would say is the perfect match.  Why?  Well once you start to get to know someone then the less important things stop being an issue.  You’ll get to like and love things about them that you would never have previously imagined.

So I suggest you try and think outside the box.   For one week only, contact people who you wouldn’t normally think would be a good match. Ignore any doubts you might have and make a friendly approach.   It’s all good practice.   You don’t necessarily have to meet up with them or contact completely unsuitable people, I’m just saying that you can widen your net and be more open.

Give some new people a chance and you’ll open up a whole world of possibilities.

Let me know how that works out for you.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru