If a relationship isn’t working out, how do you end it?

Is it best to do it in person, by phone or by email?

You won’t fall in love with everyone that you date so sometimes you have to bite the bullet and end it.  It’s the fairest thing to do as you’ll be setting them free to meet someone more compatible.  In today’s modern age there are many ways you can end it using different technologies, but you shouldn’t always take the easiest way out for you.   Remember their feelings and the effect it will have on them.

I’ll tell you exactly what you should say in a future blog, but right now I will tell you the etiquette as to HOW to go about it.

Here’s my quick guide to the correct way that you should end it:

1)  You’ve not dated,  just emailed, texted, phone calls etc.
This is the easiest of all as you’ve not had enough time to really get to know each other.  Therefore it’s perfectly fine to end it however you wish.  This could be a text or a phone call.

2) You’ve only met once.

If you’d definitely decided that you don’t want to see them again then a text or email will do.    While I’d always suggest attempting a second date if there’s the slightest spark, I know the reality is that you won’t like everyone you meet.  So there’s no point meeting them again just to let them down.  The best way is a quick email or text the next day letting them down gently.

3) A short term relationship – 2 – 4 dates

This is where is starts to get complicated.   If things haven’t been intense, then a short email should be fine.  If the dates have been passionate then you really ought to give them a quick phone call.

4) A long term relationship – more than 4 dates

Any more than 4 dates means things are getting serious.  For this reason you absolutely HAVE to end it in person.  The only exception would be if there is a distance barrier.  Tell them you need to talk and stop any indication that you are interested in them.  By this I mean don’t put kisses on the end of emails or tell them you are missing them – otherwise it will complicate matters when they try to understand everything.

However you end it, it’s important that you DO let them know about it.  This might sound an odd thing to say, but many people think it’s better to just disappear and not reply to phone calls, emails, texts.  Treat the other person with respect and the same way you’d like to be treated.  Read my blog on the “Ghost Date” for more info on this!

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.muslimsinglesolution.com

P. s  What are your thoughts on how to end a relationship?

July Success Stories and Feedback

We were delighted to present all the latest emails we’ve had in July. It’s fantastic to see so many people are getting together all because of our site. If you have a success story we don’t know about – please get in touch!

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www.muslimsinglesolution.com

Staying positive isn’t as hard has you think

Today I’ m going to give you some great tips on this subject.

The power of self-talk is amazing.  If you tell yourself you can do something or tell yourself you can’t, then you are always going to be right.  So the secret is to only tell yourself positive things that will change things for the better.

To help, here are some of my favourite positive phrases.  If you want to feel happier, spend a few minutes each day saying them over and over to yourself.  The more you tell yourself these things then the more likely your brain will make them stick and adjust accordingly:

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”

“I choose to be kind to myself.”

“A dream written down with a date becomes a GOAL. A goal broken down into steps becomes a PLAN. A plan backed by ACTION makes your dream come true.”

“It’s better to invest time doing what pleases you, rather than to waste time trying to please everyone else.”

“Every advance in human life begins with an idea in the mind of a single person.”

“I am open to new possibilities.”

“Every great leap forward in life is preceded by a clear decision and a commitment to action.”

“I can figure it out”.

“It is possible, if I am willing to put in the time and effort”

“I make choices and decisions based
on my goals and dreams.”

You could even try to include some similar phrases in to your online dating profile.  They’ll make you come across as a happy, positive person so you’ll automatically get more interest.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.muslimsinglesolution.com

How soon should you reply to an email or text?

This question often causes confusion.

You’ve sent a message online and quickly get a message back.   Some people then wonder how quickly they ought to respond.

They worry that if they write back straight away then they’ll come across as a bit over keen or even desperate.  So instead, they wait a few hours ( or even days!) and then get back to them.  They think that by doing this they’ll be seen as busy and that they aren’t too concerned about meeting anyone.

However, could you imagine doing this in a real, face to face conversation?   One of you says something, then the other waits 20 minutes before answering the question.  It just wouldn’t work would it?  It would get boring and you’d both soon lose interest.

You should treat an online conversation in the same way you would if you were in the same room. Show them respect and write back there and then.  You’ll get much better results that way.   The aim shouldn’t be to send endless messages anyway.  Emails are just there to build up trust and then you can arrange a proper meeting in person.

Strike while the iron is hot and while you’ve got maximum interest.  Don’t stop the flow by making them wait.

Otherwise they’ll sign off, or even worse – start talking to other people instead.  When you finally do bother to write back it will be incredibly difficult to pick up where you both left off.

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.muslimsinglesolution.com