If a relationship isn’t working out, how do you end it?
Is it best to do it in person, by phone or by email?
You won’t fall in love with everyone that you date so sometimes you have to bite the bullet and end it. It’s the fairest thing to do as you’ll be setting them free to meet someone more compatible. In today’s modern age there are many ways you can end it using different technologies, but you shouldn’t always take the easiest way out for you. Remember their feelings and the effect it will have on them.
I’ll tell you exactly what you should say in a future blog, but right now I will tell you the etiquette as to HOW to go about it.
Here’s my quick guide to the correct way that you should end it:
1) You’ve not dated, just emailed, texted, phone calls etc.
This is the easiest of all as you’ve not had enough time to really get to know each other. Therefore it’s perfectly fine to end it however you wish. This could be a text or a phone call.
2) You’ve only met once.
If you’d definitely decided that you don’t want to see them again then a text or email will do. While I’d always suggest attempting a second date if there’s the slightest spark, I know the reality is that you won’t like everyone you meet. So there’s no point meeting them again just to let them down. The best way is a quick email or text the next day letting them down gently.
3) A short term relationship – 2 – 4 dates
This is where is starts to get complicated. If things haven’t been intense, then a short email should be fine. If the dates have been passionate then you really ought to give them a quick phone call.
4) A long term relationship – more than 4 dates
Any more than 4 dates means things are getting serious. For this reason you absolutely HAVE to end it in person. The only exception would be if there is a distance barrier. Tell them you need to talk and stop any indication that you are interested in them. By this I mean don’t put kisses on the end of emails or tell them you are missing them – otherwise it will complicate matters when they try to understand everything.
However you end it, it’s important that you DO let them know about it. This might sound an odd thing to say, but many people think it’s better to just disappear and not reply to phone calls, emails, texts. Treat the other person with respect and the same way you’d like to be treated. Read my blog on the “Ghost Date” for more info on this!
James Preece – The Dating Guru
P. s What are your thoughts on how to end a relationship?